The Swiss Suitcase (LSD, #1)

6. I Wanna Be Your Man

I Wanna Be Your Man

Tanned Mister Paul Breitner disappears forever behind a hot steam towel. A dark tailored business suit, white silk shirt and expensive black Italian shoes, a blond wig with grey accents, a handful of artificial wrinkles and a set of silicon jaw enhancers give birth to Mister Bernard Dietz, a 60-year-old white banker from Cape Town.

Mesut can keep his grey hotel trousers but has to change the jacket of his uniform (with the name of the hotel printed on it) for the elegant grey jacket that Mister Breitner used fifteen minutes ago.

Before we go, we have one loose end to tie up. We go up to suite 2503; I grab the phone and dial 1311.

Sergey answers: "Da."

I don't tell him my name either: "Did you make any progress? Did you find Mister Nikolai?"

"We have had a little backfire. Someone fired our mini-submarine, suicide with a shot in the back. We suspect the CIA."

"We pushed the CIA out of the way, earlier today, but I say: you only used that submarine to spy on topless bikini babes on the terrace of the hotel. There's no backfire."

"The bikini babes might lead us to Mister Nikolai. There was a beautiful woman involved. We just follow your lead."

"I call to warn you: the CIA didn't bomb your submarine. There is a third party involved, probably from the Far East. You watch your back."

Sergey waits a few seconds and then says: "Thanks. I will." Then he hangs up and we're ready to go.

We leave the hotel, heading towards the town centre, the place where all the shops are and also the location of the First Swiss International, the bank where Mister Camponelli works.

"How much money do you have, Rostov?"

"I told you: 50 rubles and a fistful of dollars, in my wallet in my room."

"I mean «in total»: savings on your bank account, investments in stocks and stock options, pension plans, golden teeth, upcoming heritages of old relatives with incurable diseases, that sort of money."

"Why?"

"Because everything costs money. If we want you to disappear, you have to pay for transport, food, lodging... If we want to investigate the guests of last night's dinner, we'll have to pay for the costs of the operation. I have some cash, two thousand Swiss francs and around five thousand euros, but I want to be sure you can pay me back later."

"Pay you back? I don't have savings... I don't have money in my bank account, and my credit card reached its limit too. But if you can arrange I'll keep my job, I can pay you back from my future salary.", Rostov explains.

Now it's my turn to look surprised: "No money on your account? You're a banker. How much do you earn? 100.000 US dollars per year?"

"US$ 150.000. I'm a banker. We get bonuses...", Rostov smiles.

"You earn US$ 150.000 per year and you don't have any savings? I don't understand. What you do with all that money."

"What do people use money for? To pay bills. I rent a flat in the centre of Moscow, I have to eat, buy clothes, pay for the phone and the electricity and taxes, and, of course, there is the car. Have you seen «The World Is Not Enough» in which James Bond drives that silver BMW Z8 with remote control? I have that car, the original car that was used in the movie. Well, it's one of the 14 original cars that they used, but..."

"Is that the car that, at the end of the scene, was cut in two by a huge tree saw that hung under a helicopter? Nice car..."

"Yes, that's the one. It had a little damage, as you saw in the movie, so I could buy it with a fair 15% discount, but it costs a lot to have a car like that, and it cost an awful lot to fix the damage. It's the original James Bond car, so you understand I don't use it for shopping or holidays; I have a Lada for that. Two cars cost twice as much, as you can imagine."