Organized Crime: Unorganized

Chapter 30

When Grace answered the knock at her door the last person she expected it to be was James. But, there he was, a bag of takeout in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
"What are you doing here? I ended whatever this is" Grace reminded him.
"I know. But, I thought that tonight after all nights you could use some comfort. All I want to do is to make you feel safe Gracie. Whatever that means" the nickname that he had given her during their last and final fuck hadn't gone unnoticed "Let me help you feel safe" James encouraged. Grace stood in her doorway for a moment, seemingly thinking over her options before she pulled him inside by his open coat. James kicked the door shut behind him before Grace pushed him against it, closing the space between their bodies.
"What do you need Gracie?" James asked, desperately wishing that his hands were empty so that he could touch her.
"I need to fuck me" Grace told him, pushing the bag of food out of his hand, watching as he dropped it to the floor "I want you hard and fast" she ordered, taking the bottle from his other hand, letting him grab her waist as they walked towards the counter "I want to forget" Grace told him as she placed the bottle on the counter.
"I'm not going to fuck you" he told her, once again closing the space between them "I'm going to make love with you. I'm going to go slow and I'm going to hold you close until you cum" he told her reaching for the buttons on her shirt, slowly pulling them open one by one "Is that okay with you?" James asked, looking down at her.
"Yes please" Grace let out breathily as she pushed the shirt from her shoulders. James dropped slightly in front of her, picking her up, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, he carried her to the bedroom. James gently sat her on the edge of the bed, before he stood before her, dropping his coat and shirt to the floor. He dropped to his knees, Grace's eyes glued to his as he reached for the button on her jeans, undoing it slowly before he did the same with the zip. He dragged her pants down her legs throwing them to the floor along with his. James took a moment to gaze down at Grace. She was lying on the bed, resting on her elbows in nothing but her underwear, her eyes still red and puffy from when she had been crying. But, to him, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
"Take it off boss" Grace teased lightly, a small smile pulling at the edge of her lips. James smiled back, tugging off his boxers before he ran his hands up her legs reaching for her panties, they joined the still growing pile on the floor until James threw her bra to the now complete pile. They were naked before each other, nothing between them but air and desire. James was so wrapped up in her that he almost missed her whisper.
"I want you on top"
He watched as Grace moved against the headboard, her hand in his as her constant reassurance that he wouldn't hurt her. She gently tugged his hand, encouraging him to move over her.
"You can change your mind" James assured her, giving her a chance to back out. But, she didn't need it. He would never hurt her. Wordless, Grace continued to pull him above her, squeezing his hand to reassure him that, this was what she wanted. Slowly, James lined himself up with her entrance before he slid inside of her slowly, stretching her, until she was completely filled by him, his devotion, his assurity, his love. He listened as she gasped underneath him, waiting for her to tell him to leave or tell him what she wanted, instead she nodded and James began thrusting slowly, but deeply. "What are you thinking about now?" James asked, looking down at Grace as she stared into his eyes as he did the same to her.
"You. Only you" Grace admitted before she finally brought their lips together.

James and Grace lay on their sides facing one another.
"Thank you" Grace muttered softly, running her hand up his arm gently.
"For what?"
"For helping make me feel safe" she smiled up at him.
"You haven't opened it?" James asked motioning towards the letter on her bedside table.
"I couldn't. Too many memories. Something's just need to be left unsaid and unexplored"
"But, what if it gives you closure? You can't just leave something unexplored because your afraid of what you'll find"
"My experience with things from the past is that they were better left unsaid, and definitely unexplored"
"What are you afraid of?" He muttered gently, her hand stilling on his arm.
"Regret. Sometimes I wonder if my life would be easier if it were written in pencil so that I could erase the parts I wanted to forget or change" she admitted sadly.
"What about Nick? Would you erase the bad parts or all of him?"
"I don't know. And that's what scares me the most. The unsurety of it all. If he hadn't happened to me, I wouldn't be the person that I am...and I wouldn't have met you. Or the team. I wish I could be the person that you think I am, but, I don't regret us, whatever this is" Grace admitted. James could see the tears in her eyes as she looked up at him. Here was a woman before him, a beautiful woman, a fractured woman that had dragged herself through life, and all he wanted to do was to make her feel whole and safe. And all she wanted to do was to protect him, to ensure his happiness and safety and the safety of his team. Here we're two people, one lonely man, wanted to protect his daughter from all the bad in the world, wishing that a woman would let him love her, and this woman, who had seen the worst of the world a thousand times over, that just wanted to keep the bad at bay so that others wouldn't have to face it. Here were two people, two people that needed love, two people who would never admit to needing each other. But, they had something more than that, the intimacy of being understood.
"Open it, with me" James said finally "And if the past gets scary, I'll be here, to remind you that the past is exactly what it says it is. The past. And this-" He motioned between them "This is the future. Only if you want it to be" he gave her a soft smile, running his thumb along her cheek bone.
"I'm not good for you" Grace frowned.
"Your everything I need and more. I'm not worthy of you. And if you give me a chance, I will spend everyday showing you just how worthy you are" James told her, gently swiping away a stray tear of hers. Grace reached over to the bedside table behind her and took the letter in her hands, looking it over before she opened it.
"Dear Ronnie, or Gracie. I don't know what you go by now or which you prefer. I know that you probably don't want to speak to me but I'm getting better now. I've started seeing a doctor and I'm back in touch with Damien. I've missed you Ronnie, we both have. I'm going to go to a religious camp, I want to make things right with god and my parents before I ask to see you. I want you to know that I want to be friends again, I expect nothing of you, I don't expect you to love me. But I did love you, as kids. So did Damien. If I wasn't so messed up, maybe we could've had a chance. But, I just want my friends back. I hope you'll meet me when I get out. Your loving friend always, Nicky" Grace read out loud.
"Do you have closure?" James asked.
"Yes. And I think I might have a future too" Grace told him, looking up to meet his eye before James pulled her against his chest, hugging her tightly, letting her feel safe and content once again.