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"Fuck it's hot out here." I complain to John B as we walk up the docs after a long day out on the boat.
"Hell yeah it is." He agrees, his hand sneaking it's way beside mine and wrapping itself around my fingers.
A small smile forms on John B's face and I have to force myself to do the same.
Everyday gets harder and harder. Lying about where I've been, who i'm with, but most of all the most painful thing is coming home after being with him to a very happy John B waiting to hear about my day.
I know most people would say 'just leave' but I truly don't know if it's worth it. I don't know if Rafe can give me what I want in a relationship. So far it's always been just sex.
"So I was thinking." John B quirks up. "Maybe me and you can go back and have some... alone time." He insinuates with an eyebrow raise.
My breath gets caught in my throat and I freeze for a moment. Me and John B haven't slept together since me and Rafe started messing around a few months ago.
I always have some dumb excuse ready to go 'i'm on my period' , 'i'm not in the mood' , 'i'm tired' , 'work kicked my ass today.'
But the truth is, John B can give me everything but a good orgasm. He's always been there when I needed him and been very reliable but sex between us has never had any spark.
"Yeah maybe." I say, my voice small.
He just nods, his smile isn't as bright as it was before and I have physically can't look. I turn away and stare at the birds flying through the air and landing on the docs and trees near us.
After the storm they all come here to rest.
It hurts me to do this. It kills me knowing that if he ever found out, it would break him. But I just can't stop.
Rafe is like a drug. A highly addictive one. No matter how badly I wish I could end things sometimes for the sake of John B, something about him pulls me back in.
I know I have a choice to make, I just don't know who to pick.
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