Another Year

Day Four

December 25th

It is Christmas

You spent it with me

You came to my father's house

You sat with me

You held my hand

You gave me kisses

You, being there made it so much better

You watched me open presents

You opened your present from me

You loved it

You came home with me

And when I and my sister needed to leave to say merry Christmas to my grandfather

You sat and hung out with my sister's boyfriend

Played videogames

And then when we got home you my sister and Carson all sat there and I watched you play games you were a champ at it

And then we went and got food

And we ate it together

We watched cartoons

Played the sims then

We played magic

I lost

You won

I am totally not mad

You were so in your element being such a cute nerd

We kissed a bunch

I love everything about you

I love everything about us

You are so kind to me

You don't want to rush things

You don't want me sexually right now

Not because you think I am unattractive but because you want me to feel emotionally ready to be intimate with you

You find boundaries before I know they are

And you respect them

You are so great to me

You told me my name was beautiful

It was the first time in my life someone had told me that

You told me my smile was beautiful

I really like being with you

I'm worried

What if I am toxic

What if I become a problem

I really don't want to hurt you

I am scared of hurting you

You deserve something so much better than me

I'm glad you want me though

Cause I really want you

We keep talking about moving in together

Further down the line of course

And we talk about naming kids way way down the line you want a Nate jr

Yuckkkkyyyy

But I would let you

Just because you would ask

And if I said no you would let me

It's nice

To feel safe