Terra Firma (Fruk/FACE)

12

"Why were you so lenient with letting them stay together?"

"I'm not sure...I felt bad...I didn't want them to be separated..."

"Is that so?..."

"Yes! Alfred usually gets lonely, so I felt bad," I spoke. We were both getting ready for bed. I was changing in the corner, taking off my top layer of clothing. I walked over toward him, as he sat on the edge of the bed. "You seem to change your emotions multiple times a day," he spoke. He looked confused about my sudden decision.

"Isn't that what being human is all about? Feelings?" I asked. I stood in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What else was I supposed to do? I think I want them to have good memories as kids...not like the—"

"The bad ones we have?"

Silence...

I hated it...

"Yeah..." I spoke. I slowly removed my hand from his shoulder, and he grabbed it. "They weren't all bad, I have good memories, but they are all with you..."

"And I'm sure most of the bad ones are with me as well."

He gently held onto my hand, pulling it toward his face. "O' to be the air you breathe every second; I couldn't picture anything more bliss."

I smiled at what he said as I felt him place the back of my hand against his cheek. "You speak empty words..." I laughed. I pulled my hand away from him, but he pulled it back. "Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight? It is all I could think as I look at you, Arthur, do my words get through to you?" He asked.

"Loud and clear! However, I wonder how often you've gone easy on me due to your infatuation," I laughed. I hope he wasn't going easy on me because of his feelings. That would be embarrassing.

"No, because I know you can handle anything I may throw your way," he spoke. I was about to pull my hand away from him once more when he suddenly pulled me down beside him. "However, you are right about one thing," he spoke.

"Which is?"

"How I am infatuated with you...I may as well be besotted from my feelings..."

This idiot...when will he realize that it will never work between us. We aren't made to be happy; we were made to serve other people, not ourselves, let alone our feelings.  "I will hurt you again. Eventually...it is inevitable. How could you still feel that way, knowing that information?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

"You have bewitched me again...I've grown a fondness for you that will never disappear; no matter what you do to me, I will always—"

"That is a terrible way of thinking...terrible! You would allow me to harm you because you have affection toward me? I won't allow it! I won't let you feel that way! If that is the case, I'd rather you favor someone other than me. I don't want that for you! Don't do that to yourself," I spoke. How could he say things like that? Let himself be a tool for someone.

Anyone would take advantage of him.

"You mean well, I see it when you look at me, but I don't want you to bring harm to yourself for the sake of my affection. You don't need to do any of that because I don't want you to; I want you to be yourself and nothing else. Be angry with me, fight with me, give me attitude; it is what I adore about you!"

I smiled at him, placing a hand in his hair that fell over his shoulders. He had such soft hair. "Today was a great day; let's leave it at that and go to sleep already," I spoke. He looked at me eagerly and held my hand once more. "I promise you that I will always be the same...even when you think I may change my attitude for you. I'm not; I'm only being vocal about it," he spoke.

I finally pulled my hand away and separated from him. "Where are you going?" He asked. I looked at him, confused, looked toward my floor bed and back at him. "To sleep?" I spoke. What was the deal? I had been sleeping on the floor for a while now. He didn't seem to care too much.

"Oh, come hither, something ails me!" He whined. I looked at him, confused, and he threw himself against the bed. He was always so dramatic; I'm sure he is fine. "What is it?" I asked.

"Come here! You must be close!"

"Ugh..."

I groaned from annoyance and came closer. "Will you stop being such a child? Act your age!" I glared. I used my foot to kick him, and he only laughed. "I am a teenager; I am acting my age!" He chuckled. Idiot...I hope he dies.

"You want me to sleep beside you, don't you?" I asked. He was obvious; of course, I knew that. Anyone would be able to see behind his idiocy. "Awww boo, you figured me out," he spoke.

"Yeah, goodnight!" I spoke. I was about to walk away, but he sat up quickly to stop me. "Please! One night? I'm worried the floor has been hard on you; let's sleep together..."

I looked up at the ceiling to think about it. He continued to hold onto me, and I was feeling annoyed. I really wanted to sleep; I was tired of people whining today, especially after all of Alfred and Matthew's begging. "Ugh...fine...one night...but there will be a pillow between us!" I demanded. Francis began to cheer and move toward the other side so I could get into bed.

I already knew...

The bed was soft, and I knew I would fall asleep instantly, so it didn't matter. "Yay! Like old times," he cheered.

"Yeah, yeah, let me sleep..." I spoke. I turned away from him and could feel how he put the pillow between us. I could hear him adjusting himself, and I was starting to get that feeling again, only it was stronger.

No way...

Did I actually have feelings for him? Still?

I mean, I cared about him and loved seeing him happy...and I did miss him quite a bit...then I cared about him in a close friendly way...but that is all...

When I told him I still cared for him, deep down, I meant it platonically, right? Why does it suddenly feel like I was lying to myself the whole time? It is absurd!

I began to turn around to face him and saw that he had faced the other way. Thank goodness...

I will sleep it off! Yes! I will sleep the feelings off! They will be gone in the morning!