Stay in your Lane (On Hold)

Chapter Twelve ~ Travis

Chapter Twelve

TRAVIS

It was hard to remember life before Bugtussle. What was left were snapshots, more like things I'd seen on television than actual experiences. Walking down a sidewalk surrounded by tall buildings. Smog, taxis, and people rushing back and forth. My father, passed out in his chair, or worse, stumbling through the house, shouting at the top of his lungs, "Where is it?"

Mom never talked much about that time. She didn't say he was searching for his booze, which she'd hidden in the hopes of a peaceful night. She didn't mention the black eye she'd sported the day we loaded the car and left. I often wondered if she knew where we were headed, or if she'd simply drove until the gas ran out.

My whole life, people had been telling me how bad I had it, but they didn't know what real bad was. When Mom moved us into that run-down trailer, I hadn't cared that the roof leaked, or the heater didn't work, or the pipes froze up in the winter. It was quiet. It was safe. He wasn't there, and Mom, though tired and overworked, never cried.

Our first week in, Mrs. Joyce brought over a casserole to welcome us to the neighborhood. She'd taken one look at us, and that was it. She tended to us like stray cats, helping Mom get the job at the diner, then the second at the chicken factory. She got us clothes from the church donations, made hot meals, and she was my first ever customer in the lawn business. It was Mrs. Joyce who signed me up for the youth league, where I met Ashley.

Ashley.

She'd reminded me of a fairy tale. Hell, she was always dressed like she just jumped out of one. A real life Princess, living in a castle, with a mother who had nothing else to do but bake and cook and be pretty. With a dad who didn't shout and was always around, teaching her things like bowling.

I was drawn to her. To all of them. Despite her making it perfectly clear that she didn't like me, I didn't stop coming around. Because I wanted what she had. For me. For Mom. I wanted to be just like Austin Allen.

I thought I was doing good. My lawn business, though small, was bringing in enough to pay the utilities by the time I was sixteen. I went to church with Mrs. Joyce every Sunday. I helped Mom fix the pipes. I even scavenged the dumpster behind the carpet store in town and found enough scraps to cover our plywood floors. I studied hard in school, and I didn't get into fights, even though some deserved it.

Well, the last isn't completely true, but I did the right thing quite a few times.

I lifted weights and ran for miles and got as big and as strong as I possibly could. Big enough to chase off Mom's boyfriends when they turned out to be shit. Big enough to be the man of our house; the man my father wasn't. A man like Austin Allen or Paul Taylor or John Randall.

The one thing I could never get right was Ashley. No matter how hard I tried, I always pissed her off. And the older we got, the more I desperately wanted to get it right.

I'd made a decision long ago that I wasn't going to settle. Mom had settled and look where it got her. She had it in her head that our life was where we belonged. What we got was all we could get. But that was bullshit. I wanted the best, for me and her, and I would never settle. If I wasn't good enough, then I could get better. I would get better, and I would win, because I would never quit.

But, then there was Ashley. The most beautiful girl in the world. Maybe that's cheesy, but I don't care, because she is. Out of all the women I'd ever met, in Bugtussle and beyond, no one had ever matched up. She was driven and funny and strong. She could bowl better than half the men I'd seen on tour. She was kind, even when she was trying so hard to be mean.

But she didn't want me. Trailer trash. Those words from her lips had lit a fire unlike any I'd ever felt before. It was one thing when others said it. They didn't matter, but to hear her say it. To have her blatantly tell me how I wasn't good enough, right after she'd been clawing to have me closer, was the biggest challenge I'd ever had placed before me. The most important, because without Ashley, none of the rest mattered.

So I made a decision that I was going to be exactly the kind of man Ashley wanted. I left. I got a job landscaping and spent all my free time bowling. I bowled in tournaments and used the prize money to buy enough equipment to start my own business. I hired a crew I could trust to handle things while I was away, and I made it happen. All the while, I had one goal. To win the pro tour. To become exactly the kind of man worthy of Ashley Allen.

But I'd taken too long.

I'd thought she was lying. It was easy to tell when she was. Her nose would scrunch up, and her gaze would shift away. A terrible liar, really. But then there she'd been, bent backward like some old Hollywood starlet, being kissed in the ending scene of a movie by the scrawny snack-guy.

The fucking snack-guy.

You mean to tell me, I went off and worked myself to death to be the best possible version of myself, only to come back and lose her to the fucking snack-guy? What could they possibly have in common? He didn't even bowl!

I pulled into Mrs. Joyce's driveway, having just had my ass stomped by Ashley three games in a row. How could I bowl when all I could think about was that kiss? How could I focus when it was becoming clear that I'd lost her? That all of this was for nothing. That it didn't matter what I did, it was me. I wasn't good enough.

Mrs. Joyce stepped out and rushed to greet me with opened arms. "Boy, you better get up here and hug me!"

I bent down and did just that, taking comfort in her embrace. It wasn't enough to ease the tension. "Did you know Ashley's living in that RV down the street?"

She pulled back and gave me a look. "Yeah, a couple years now. She got tired of her Mama's new husband. Can't say I blame her. All the man ever does is preach, and if you ask me, he ain't that good at it. You'd think he'd have a little shame. Everyone knows he was running around with Renae long before the divorce was final."

She kept talking as she led me up the steps and inside. "Have a seat! I'll get us some tea."

I looked around the familiar setting. Not much had changed in the time I'd been gone. Angel knickknacks, crocheted coasters, and needlework littered every available surface.

I took a seat on the plastic-covered couch. She walked in, handed me a glass of iced tea, and took the seat beside me.

I smiled. She was a little grayer than I remembered. A little more frail. "Do you need anything done around the house?"

She rolled her eyes. "You just got here! I don't have to put you to work already. Besides, Ashley has been helping me. The girl has gotten quite handy. You believe she patched my roof last summer?" She shook her head. "About gave me a heart attack, but she got it done without falling. Bless her."

I swallowed a gulp of the tea, still the best I'd ever had, but guilt made it heavy in my stomach. She shouldn't have had to do that. She shouldn't have to live in that RV or work the front counter at the lanes. Why was she here? I couldn't understand it. I'd kept tabs as best as I could, heard she'd won a few tourneys, but I'd been so busy. . .

"It took you long enough to stop by," Mrs. Joyce said.

I grinned. "I know. You weren't home the day I got in, then I got a bit distracted."

"I'll forgive you if you stay for dinner."

"Deal."

"Good!" She got up and headed toward the kitchen, then the sounds of pots and pans echoed through the small space.

I followed her steps and set my glass on the table. "Here, let me get them." She was crouched down, struggling to get what she needed from the lower cabinets.

"The cast iron in the back," she said as she stepped aside.

I crouched down and peered in until I saw it. My stomach growled. "What you making?"

"Chicken fried steak. Ashley's favorite. I am just so happy you came today. I'll get to have both of you at the table, just like old times."

A lot of exposition here, but I'm happy with it for now lol. I hope you enjoyed, and it didn't get too boring. Next upload next Sunday!