FML || ATEEZ AU

TWO

[FML]

September 14th, 2016
Wednesday
7:42 pm

Dear Diary,

After the first session with Yunho was finished, we had both hurriedly said our goodbyes and rushed out of the library (or I did, as he slowly trailed behind me).  He stated that he had practice soon, so I did what any sane person would do in that situation, which was to quickly end our meeting there and flee the scene with not so much as a quiet goodbye and barely visible nod.  While I was surprised with the complete 180 of the personality I thought Yunho would have, I still found it suffocating to be around him.  At the end of the day, everything had come down to one definitive reality: we were of two different worlds, mixing together for too long could be catastrophic (at least on my end).

Before heading home, I decided to get off a couple stops before I reached my neighborhood.  Still deep in the city, I made way to a small hole-in-the-wall cafe that I frequented as often as I could.  It was a quiet place--something that I loved--and was rarely ever busy.  I liked to go there when I had a lot of work on my plate or was just overwhelmed in general.  The place was also comfortably decorated with earthy toned colors and warm lighting.  They had all kinds of plants resting in every corner, and even some draped across the ceiling, hugging each and every rustic lights.  I held the cafe close to my heart simply from the atmosphere alone.

Yesterday, I went to the cozy cafe for one reason and one reason alone: to figure out what the hell I was going to do with Jeong Yunho and these future lessons.  Not only did I have to deal with the fact that I was tutoring our school's star basketball player (fuck you kindly, Mr. Lee), but he was practically a lost cause when it came to English.  I was supposed to get him a passing grade?  It just wasn't possible with all the circumstances at hand.  And also why?  More importantly, WHY ME?  There are a handful of kids that excel in English here and would be a hell of a lot better teacher than me.  Shit, I could barely speak to the guy!

Stepping into the cafe, I let the environment overtake my mind, slowly ridding me of all thoughts surrounding Yunho--or at least tried to. 

It was hard not to let it eat me away.  How long was I supposed to do this for?  What will other people think seeing me around him after school?  Will they hate me?  What will happen?  What will happen to him?  What will happen to me?  What's going to happen?  All kinds of questions ran rampant through my mind--even now, as I write to you, tons of scenarios pester my thoughts.  Both good and bad, but mostly the latter.  I didn't have high hopes being associated with the boy.

"Oh?  You came today?"  I snapped my head towards the familiar voice, a faint smile tugging at my lips.  "I was wondering when you were going to show this week, but don't you think it's a little early? You never come on Tuesdays."