Between Your Lips and Mine (Cervantes Series)

8

a/n: di ko talaga alam bakit *sobrang* haba ng chapter nito (almost always near/reaching/beyond 7k?) pero ang bagal ng kuwento huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

thank you sa mga nagtitiyaga sa mumunting writing exercise na i2 xDDD

013123 #BYLAMwp Chapter 8

I know I do not have the social capital and I am not relevant enough para pagtinginan ng mga tao, but that's exactly how I feel as I half-run to where my car is parked. The heat in my cheeks don't show any signs of going away, and me thinking that every stranger I walk past is staring at me and judging me hard, and rightfully so, for having those—those wrong imaginations is not helping. Normally, if anyone were looking at me, I couldn't care less, but after what happened a few minutes ago, obviously wala nang normal sa araw na 'to.

Because that, THAT, is nowhere near normal. Should I go to the hospital and get myself checked? I am not hurting anywhere, so ano'ng sakit ko? Am I hungry? Is it academic exhaustion? Or maybe there's something toxic in the Valentine's Day air kaya nagkaroon ng error sa pag-iisip ko. There has to be a logical explanation. Dahil kung wala, kung wala . . . hindi puwedeng wala! I would die kung wala.

In-on ko kaagad ang aircon pagsakay sa kotse. I sit on the driver's seat for a few minutes, waiting for the car engine to heat up and for the heat on my cheeks to fade away. I had to take out a few papers from my bag and fan myself with it dahil parang sinisilaban talaga ang mukha ko kahit na tinutok ko na sa 'kin ang aircon. It's probably due to shame dahil, what the fuck, Ju? I have had the weirdest dreams in my sleep but this one takes the cake. Dahil una, hindi naman ako tulog. And pangalawa—really, Ju, si Chio? That's enough reason to be disgusted sa kung ano-anong pinag-iisip mo kanina.

We are friends, putang ina. Hindi siya kalandian material, at least for me. He's a good friend at kahit isang patak ng malisya ay hindi maliligaw sa actions niya for me, and vice versa. And kahit hindi kami friends, he's not the type of guy I would date, kaya never in my wildest dreams I would have imagined his hand beneath my shirt nor his breath on my neck nor his lips on—

Puta. Parang gago. What is wrong with you?

Maybe it's the hormones? Kailan ba ako huling nagkaro'n? Maybe my brain cells just decided that they would fixate themselves to someone who's convenient, which is Chio dahil siya ang halos lagi kong kasama lately. Sobrang maling timing lang n'ung weird, and totally unreliable, na experiment ni Eri. Plus, Chio's being weird and it has been bothering me since earlier today kaya siguro puro Chio ang utak ko.

That's it—a glitch, an error, and nothing more. I have to be sure of that because not knowing makes me lose my mind. And I cannot afford to do that dahil magmamaneho pa ako. And for fuck's sake, it's Chio. It feels like a sin to see him as more than a friend. At sa ganung paraan pa talaga—with his fingers trailing towards the underwire of my br—

I need to stop.

I close my eyes, take a few deep breaths, and let the consistent sound of the warming engine bring me a sense of normalcy. I should go. Pi-pick up-in ko pa ang mga regalo ko para kina Mommy at Auntie Mel.

When my breathing evens out, aalis na sana ako, but a series of light knocks on my window make me halt. For a moment, I thought malala na talaga ako to the point that I am imagining things with my eyes wide open, but when Chio knocked again on my window and I see him mouthing my name, natauhan ako. What is he doing here?

I press a button to roll the windows down. "What?" I ask, unintentionally coming off as snappy.

Lalo lang nagsalubong ang mga kilay niyang salubong na dahil nanliliit ang mga mata niyang direktang tinatamaan ng tirik pang araw. Frowning, he asks, "Galit ka? Bakit ganiyan hitsura mo?" My upper body instinctively moves away from the window when he ducks and leans over to shield himself from the sun. "Naiwan mo charger mo sa lib. Buti naabutan pa kita."