𝐀 𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐎𝐟 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 | 𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠

❥ 𝑺𝑰𝑿𝑻𝑬𝑬𝑵

ARTEMIS||

I needed to get away from my racing thoughts. My mind was spiraling, and I had no idea how to stop it. I needed something—anything—to distract me. I couldn't keep thinking about what was coming tomorrow, about Mateo, about my brother.

I hadn't expected him to be the cause of all this. That was the last thing on my mind, the last thing I ever thought would happen. When my sister died, it felt like a part of all of us died with her. She had been the light of our family, the center of it all, the favorite. But now, they're all blaming me.

Because I couldn't be her. Because I wasn't the one who died that day.

I felt the weight of it as I rushed to the Academy. I needed to get to my swimsuit, get out of my head, and do something. Anything. Thankfully, no one was around. Mateo wasn't there, and I was sure Jenna and Luciano were still at the coffee shop.

I grabbed my swimsuit, checking quickly to see where the nearest public pool was. My eyes scanned the map, and a small flicker of relief passed through me when I found one just twenty minutes away. But the cold weather meant I couldn't walk. I'd have to take the bus.

I checked the schedule. The next bus was in five minutes, just enough time.

As I got on the bus, the reality of everything hit me, hard. I couldn't keep running from my brother, or from the pain he brought. I couldn't avoid the conversations that would inevitably come up, especially now that he was going to my school.

The thought of him made my chest tighten. I still loved him. Despite everything, despite the cruelty, the brokenness, I still loved him. And it hurt so much knowing he couldn't—or wouldn't—return that love. He and my mom were the only family I had left. I would do anything for them. But he wouldn't do the same for me.

I suddenly remembered Mateo. I needed to tutor him tomorrow after school. That awkwardness between us after... after what happened. It made my stomach churn.

What if I wasn't good enough? What if he thought I was disgusting?

I was snapped from my spiraling thoughts by the honking of a car, startling me as I almost missed my stop. Shit.

I stepped off the bus, the cool night air hitting my face. The day had flown by too quickly. I could barely believe it was already this late.

"Municipal Pool," the faded banner read. The building looked old and worn, but it didn't matter. It was a place to get away from everything.

I walked inside, the dull fluorescent lights flickering above me. The receptionist was a girl who looked around my age, with long blonde hair and small green eyes. She smiled warmly as she greeted me.

"Do you have a membership?" she asked, her voice friendly and casual.

I shook my head. She handed me a small card. "That'll be five dollars for the month."

I fished the money from my purse and handed it to her before heading to the changing room. I quickly got changed into my pink swimsuit, feeling a little bit of relief. At least here, I wouldn't be thinking about my family, my brother, or the hell that was waiting for me tomorrow.

I put my clothes and backpack in a locker, and as I stepped out of the changing room, the floor was a bit slippery. My foot slipped out from under me, and I landed flat on my ass. Ouch.

No one saw, thankfully. But it still hurt.

I stood up, rubbing my sore backside, and my eyes widened at the pool. It stretched out before me, long and inviting. I tossed my towel on a nearby chair and walked over to the edge.

The water was warm, almost like a hug, and I couldn't get in fast enough.

As I submerged myself, the sound of the world faded. I was finally alone with my thoughts. No one could distract me now.

I floated on my back, stretching out like a starfish. The warm water wrapped around my skin, soothing my muscles and quieting my mind.

I stared up at the ceiling. It was painted white with little dolphins scattered across it. They were cute, but it didn't matter. My mind was elsewhere.

I couldn't help but wonder about my brother. What was he feeling right now? Was he happy? Angry? Or was he just indifferent?

How would he react when he saw me tomorrow? Would he be cold, like always? Would he even acknowledge me at all? Maybe he wouldn't care.

My mom had said he wanted to see me. But I knew that wasn't true. He wasn't the type to suddenly get sentimental and want to make amends. He was never that kind of person. I doubted he'd even want to be here, let alone go to my school. But I didn't have the courage to ask him.

I sighed, sinking deeper into the water, letting it envelop me. It was warm, but not enough to ease the cold, empty ache in my chest. My brother was a ghost, and no matter how much I wanted him to come back, to be the brother I once knew, I knew he never would.

And that was the hardest part.

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Short chapter I know, I know.