A Light Touch (Eustass X Reader)

Chapter 16: Benefactor

You stayed down in the basement for hours. You could hear the crew working upstairs to clean up the glass and start repairing the house. Your emotions were all over the place, and you weren't having an easy time trying to organize them, let alone process them.

Your heart hurt, it ached so deeply you almost wanted to rip it from your chest just to have a moment's relief. You couldn't heal it, there was no physical wound to mend to bring some sort of relief.

Eventually Emma came down with a tray of food. She didn't say anything until she was sure you had seen it.

"I'll come get it later, but I wanted you to know that you can go back to your room if you want. Or, well, anywhere in the house." There's sadness in Emma's voice and so you know the whole rest of the crew knows.

"Thanks." You respond, pulling the tray close as she leaves.

The food's warm, and it makes you feel a little better. You hadn't had a chance to eat before all hell had broke loose, and you hadn't realized how much it was making everything else sink into you.

You had no idea what you were going to do. The only thing you knew for sure was you needed to think really hard on it before you made any decisions, and sulking in the basement wasn't going to help. Not that you didn't have a right to be angry, but you didn't want to make any decisions because of your anger.

First thing, you wanted a shower, and clothes that were clean. Clothes that were actual clothes too, being in your pjs felt like a depression move and you didn't want that either.

You got up, tray in hand and head upstairs. You come out of the basement carefully, not because you're worried about another attack, but you don't know how much glass is still on the floors, or where Kid is. Right now, you're not sure if you want to see him.

He had left earlier without a word. You didn't know what expression was on his face since you couldn't bring yourself to look at anyone. You didn't know if it mattered right now, since you were still raw.

You see Killer in the kitchen, cleaning up and prepping for dinner. When you set the tray down, he turns in your direction.

"Thanks Em— er." Killer freezes in place. It's almost funny to see a guy as big and intimidating as him be so shook up by you.

"Thanks." You say, knowing he had made the food. "I'm going to my room. I... just need to think on stuff."

"Let me know when you're hungry again." He says evenly. There's a twitch in his body like he wants to reach out and say something more, but he doesn't.

"Where is he?" You ask with a sigh.

"Out. You won't run into him in the house." Killer assures you.

You nod, and head up to your room.

The stairs feel big. The open space in the middle of the staircase feels empty. The higher up you get the colder things feel. Like there's a series of walls closing between you and the entire crew with each step you take.

The window in your room is boarded up with thick planks and metal bars. Aside from the basement it might be the safest place in the whole house right now. Stepping into the bathroom, even the few small windows in here were reinforced.

You could feel your body relax.

A long shower and a longer soak in the tub were the beginning of what you needed. You used all the little creams and oils you could get your hands on and just let your mind wander. Water made it easier to think. Made it easier to be relaxed while you thought. Made it more comfortable to feel and cry, and you didn't know why it worked that way, but you were grateful for it.