A Light Touch (Eustass X Reader)

Chapter 25: Heavy Hand

"Where's Kid?" You ask, walking away as Decken lays in the mud behind you. Law looks at you as he walks by and heads over to Decken. To look after him or bury him you're not sure, and you're too distracted at this point to care.

"Good," Killer says over the comms as a flare goes into the air. "Just stuck. He barricaded himself and then got buried by the mud and plaster. His earpiece works, but his mic overloaded cause of his devil fruit. He's banging on the metal to communicate with us."

"I'm on my way."

"Hey... is he?" Killer prompts.

You look over your shoulder and see Law keeping your sword away from Decken. "He's alive despite his wishes. The doc's keeping him company for now."

"You really gonna keep him like that?"

"Handless and alive? Yeah. Well, I mean, I can't stop him from deciding to bite his tongue off or something, but I don't think he should get what he wants." You admit. You can feel apathy and exhaustion sinking into your body. "Killer... is there something wrong with me?"

"Huh?"

"... I should feel bad, shouldn't I?" You're trudging closer to the others as you speak, but it's slow going, and some of that is the fear that everyone will look at you like an abomination.

"Who's to say?" Killer answers. "How you feel is how you feel, and what's more important than that is how you cope with it going forward. I – we – can all sit here and tell you it's okay, but you're going to have to sort that out on your own for yourself."

"Yeah... that makes sense." You admit dragging yourself the rest of the way over to them in silence.

It wasn't long after you reached the others that they managed to find the beginnings of Eustass' metal barrier. Killer kicked the metal hard enough to dent it, and after a couple heavy kicks it split enough to allow light from Hip's phone to give Kid some light. Once he knew where the safe place was to shift things the mound of mud and plaster shifted as the shell opened enough for him to get out.

Aside from a few scrapes, bruises and some mud, Kid was unharmed.

He took off the communication collar and earpiece as he walked over to you. He just stood in front of you looking at you for a minute before you removed your comms and earpiece as well.

"How're you feeling, Mouse?" He asks. There's something in his expression that twists your heart, and it's the first thing you've felt since you walked away from Decken.

Your hot rage is gone, it stomped Decken into the mud while you screamed. There's no cold anger, it held your stomach in place as you removed his hands. There's no fear left in you, the hands that clawed at your nightmares are decomposing in the mud. There's no compassion left in you, it healed a man you never wanted to touch again.

There was no relief left in you, Eustass was alive and unharmed. Everything was okay. You survived, and he survived, and the crew survived, and no one died because of your problem. No one died. Everything was okay. You're okay. You have to be okay, it's over, everyone's safe, you're okay.

You just need to say it.

"I..." Hot biting tears sting your eyes and constrict your throat. You look at your hands as though you expect them to be covered in blood, or bugs, or something revolting. How could you reach out to him like this? "I..." You can't force the words out, you're not even sure what words there are to speak, but the red hot tears cut deep lines in your face.

Deeper lines in your heart.

Eustass kneels in the mud, and you want to tell him to stop or he'll get dirty too, and you can't say the words fast enough before one strong, trembling, warm arm wraps around you and pulls you close. The gesture makes you choke on the heavy tears, but the soft voice in your ear causes you to cling to him and wail into his shoulder.