The Empty Ones (Fantasy Romance)

12. Something to believe in

Who am I? What am I doing? What is the purpose of all this?

These days, I ask myself this quite often, but at the age of twelve, these rather deep questions didn't cross my mind, even if they are somehow the pinnacle of one's existence.

I knew who I used to be, namely the daughter of the greatest sorcerer that had lived on the continent in the last decades. His identity had weighed on me my whole life, except for the years at the priory. There, for the better or the worse, I was nobody of notice. Or so I thought...

What I was doing at that time was just living along. I didn't have a plan or a greater purpose. After all, I was only a child. Sometimes I missed the comfort of life at the palace, but slowly, with the passing of the moons, the longing faded and this new life began to feel like my own. I didn't plan on escaping like Mairi or Chioma. Where to? I had no place or people to go to and I was well aware that I wasn't fit to survive on my own.

"The soldiers are departing today."

Fera's voice was emotionless. Deep inside, she was probably relieved they were leaving.

I thought, that after the incident with Jorn, she would trust me more. She had been genuinely grateful, but not more trusting. When I asked her about the mountain clans and why she thought they attacked the priory, she just dismissed me without answering.

"I see. Is Salma still angry with you?"

"Probably."

"Don't you mind? She is our friend. Just apologize."

"She will forget about it," answered Fera.

Then I realized that Fera did have pride after all. Was it that or that she never invested energy in something that wouldn't turn profitable in the long run?

Three moons had passed since that adventurous night. We didn't know if Jorn survived or not after the caravan left but at least he didn't die on our watch.

Besides that, another important event was captivating the attention of everyone around. Matching, it was called Red Day.

The men present on Gray Day had entered their offers, and The White Grace had chosen the ones the girls would belong to. It was called Red Day because the bridal garment in The Realm is red, the color of blood and fire.

There were several problems linked to that day. Fera said that depending on the person, sometimes the men would come themselves to pick up the girls, and other times someone in their service would. After having met Jorn, I noticed something I didn't before. Those were men, not boys, but we were certainly only girls, and a bit of me couldn't help feeling it was wrong.

I was also afraid Sahib Aldam would come again. He didn't seem pleased so I hoped he didn't acquire any girl. Neither of the older girls was my friend and Yara was actually one I disliked, but I didn't wish even upon her a fate like the one a life with him I imagined would look like.

Those days it was much about Chioma. She had two moods: frightened and sad, maybe also angry but the anger was silent and muffled because she knew how powerless we all were.

Supposedly, for Red Day there was a ceremony when we all were helping the new brides and concubines to bathe and get dressed and then we accompanied them to the gates where the carriage of the family, with or without the male, was waiting for them.

"I am fuming," enounced Mairi and plunged down on the grass to my left.

"Aren't you daily?"

"Oh, common'. Since when are you so snarky, Weedy?"