Wishing For More - Lord of the Flies (Jalph)

Dreadful First Day

Wait... What?! You're coming back for more? EYYY. I HAVE A FAN!
Can I call you that? Pretty please ;-;
Love me. :c
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NORMAL TIME:

The blaring alarm was enough to send Ralph into a bad mood as soon as he sat up on the Monday morning. Not only was it bad enough that it was a Monday morning and his first day at a new school, but the thought of spending time with Jack Merridew brought the taste of bile to his throat, and a swarm of repulsiveness sent his heart hammering against his ribcage. The freak. The monster. The savage. Once again, the brunette cursed himself for agreeing to Jack picking him, "Fuck it. Fuck that. Fuck me." Ralph repeated as he slammed a fist on the clock, missing the alarm button and only making it squeal louder. He groaned louder than he would have thought possible. "Fuck me." He spat again as he pushed himself away from his bed, his muscles rolling in protest as he cracked his shoulders and pulled on a top. He always slept partially naked, but, having not got curtains yet in the kitchen, he was still to shy to go downstairs in his normal sleep state. With a glance in the mirror, he deducted that his hair was a mess and that his eyes were, as usual, too plain. A base of green with brown flecked through them. Nothing special. Not like-. "Fuck me." He slammed that thought to a stop. He did NOT want to think about the blueness of Jack Merridew's piercing gaze. No. No. No. However, even as he buttered toast, or, later, stood in the shower, the back of his eyelids were pierced with the shade of blue flecked with gold that were Jack's eyes. The heat of the shower drumming on his tense muscles did nothing to help him relax, and neither did the familiar action of packing a bag full of textbooks. Even scrolling through his emails to read about his american friends' summer had been did nothing to splash sunshine on the shadow of his mood. All because of that stupid. Fucking. Jack. Merridew. That thought made him stop. Fucking... Jack? The humor of it almost made him laugh. Almost. The time since he had woken up had passed in a haze and a blurr and-
Jack.
The redhead's face grinned at him through his kitchen window. Ralph tugged at his tie, loosening it from the strangling knot he must have tied it in, because surely that was the only explanation of why he suddenly couldn't breathe and it seemed like there was no oxygen and... That train of thought disappeared as Jack opened the door and... Let himself in.
"Hey, nice place Ralphy. Got a nice view."
"The sea." Ralph raised an eyebrow, "Is not a nice view."
"Sure it is. Don't you remember the colour blue of the sea back at The Island-" As Jack continued talking, Ralph found himself trying to picture the exact shade of blue of the sea but just kept on coming back to the blue of Jack's gaze. His eyes. The sky. His eyes. The sea. His eyes. AHH, fuck. It was happening again. He bit hit tongue to snap himself out of it, but the salty taste of blood did little to console him, "So what do you think?"
"Sorry what?" Ralph raised a single eyebrow, realizing the redhead had been talking the whole time.
"About the ridiculousness of prom? Literally what I was just talking about?"
"Oh. Um. I wasn't listening."
"So you missed when I mentioned how unfair it is for boys not to be able to go together without looking weird? Not that I mind looking weird, as, I, in fact, am outed to all of my school thanks to a very unloyal friend - you'll probably meet her today-"
"Wait. You're gay?" Those words did not excite him. No they didn't. "Fuck." Ralph said outloud.
"Why did you swear? You a homophobe?" Jack's eyes darkened in disappointment.
"I-"
"Let's go." The redhead gestured towards the open door.
"You first. I need to lock up. My place, remember?" Ralph began to follow Jack.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Jack's amused smile distracted him from whatever he was about to say, and Ralph's gaze dropped to check he had put on trousers this morning. He had, as it turned out. "Your bag?" The redhead gestured towards the backpack on the table.
"Right." The heat rose to Ralph's cheeks and he was instantly glad he didn't blush. Jack however, seemed to pick up on Ralph's almost-blush and turned a bright shade of red on cue. The sight made Ralph's heart thud. Wait. No it didn't. Yes it did. With anger. Yes. Jack Merridew shouldn't be allowed to blush. Wait. No. It was cute. Wait. Wh-
"You coming?" Jack had thrown himself into a nearby Mustang car and was grinning at him through an open window.
UGH. Why couldn't he forget about Jack's blue blue blue eyes. He was straight. Wasn't he? His girlfriend at home certainly seemed to suggest so. Maybe-. No. Jack Merridew was nothing but a freak. Not because he was gay. Not because he was so startlingly handsome. Not because he made Ralph's words fail. But: because he was a murderer.
One who was so apologetic and regretful and so blissfully sweet, true but- Again, Ralph pushed that thought away like he did with the rest of his nightmares. He locked up in a fluid motion and dashed round the car to the other side to get in. When he had gotten round, Jack had leant over his seat and already pushed the front door open, leaving no choice for Ralph without the brunette seeming rude. Considering being rude anyway, Ralph decided against it in a fleeting moment and got in, and. Oh. Jack's face was only inches away from his, having been in the process of straightening himself after opening the opposite door. Jack turned, clearing his throat as if to say something, but the silence still hovered as Jack started the car.
"Tell- tell me a bit about you," Ralph turned his gaze towards the window and watched the world begin to flick by.
"What do you want to know?"
"Anything."
"Give me a hint?" Jack pulled up at a red light.
"Hmm.. Relationship?"
"That's the first thing you want to know?" A wicked grin appeared on the redhead's mouth and his eyes flashed with an unreadable emotion. Determined not to be distracted, Ralph coughed,
"Yo-you said you were gay so I was just... Just wondering."
"I'm not currently in a relationship, no. Between the ages of 15 and 17, I was doing a lot of one night stands - all STD checked, don't you worry - but my parents always believed that I was only claiming to be 'gay' because of the time spent on the island so I never brought anyone home. After a while, having regular sex got a bit boring, and here I am now, 18 and 237 days old, having not been in an official relationship ever." Ralph ducked his head, embarrassed,
"That's..." He cleared his throat, "That's a lot of sex."
"Yes." Jack chuckled, "Oh come on you bloody lights!"
"I have a girlfriend."
"Oh?" What was that that flashed across Jack's face?
"Yeah. Her name's Monica and she's head-cheerleader. I think she wants to break up with me but I don't think I'm upset about it; you know what I mean?"
"No."
"She's a big believer on bacteria so we never went past holding hands."
"Ralph Pickett... Are you stating you're still a virgin?"
Ralph made a noise of surprise.
"We'll have to change that won't we?"
The words hovered between them and Ralph slowly turned his head towards Jack, eyes wide, "I-"
"I didn't mean. Uh. With. Um. Me. I just meant.. College and all..." The redhead turned a dark shade of, well, red, "You'll find someone. Cute as you are." Ralph made another noise of surprise. "I mean. Sure. You're okay looking. Um. Some girl. Uh."
"You think I'm cute?" The brunette ran a hand through his hair as he did whenever he was nervous.
"You'll find someone," Jack ignored the question. Ralph repeated it. "Sure. You're good. I mean. Uh. Ummm..."
"You're not so bad yourself." Ralph smirked and tore his gaze away, not wanting to watch Jack's eyes flick towards him in abstract terror. "But if you tried to get me to repeat that, I'd deny." Jack stopped breathing.
Here, in his car was the cutest person Jack had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Someone who already knew his dark history. Someone who had shared a kiss with him before. Someone who... Jack swung into a parking space. "Bloody hell Ralph!" Ralph jumped at the sudden exclamation. "Don't do that to a guy! Tell us we're cute and then brush it off. It's bloody horrible."
"I didn't mean-"
"You don't think I'm cute?"
"No, I meant-"
"So you do?"
"I was-"
"What?"
"Jack Merridew stop interrupting everything I'm saying!" The brunette swung his car door open and grabbed his bag in anger.
"Ralph-"
"No, Jack. You listen to me for one fucking moment! I said you're cute. That's it. Girls tell each other they're pretty all the time, why must this be different? You think I'm ever going to actually feel anything towards you when I know the physcopath you are, oh, and, for fucks sake, don't look at me like that!"
"Like what?"
"Like I crushed your favourite puppy! Jack Merridew, I am fucking straight and I don't give a shit what you feel. Just go to a gay bar!" The redhead flinched back, Ralph's words finally sinking in. "You're a physcopath Jack Merridew, and don't you-"
Jack cut off Ralph's words, surprised as the taste of salt flooded over his tongue. He must have been crying. Enough about that. Ralph's. Mouth. It was as soft as he remembered. Ralph exhaled against his mouth, and the breath flooded warmth over him. All too soon, the brunette pulled back. "Jack-"
"Got it. You don't like me." Jack gestured for Ralph to get out the car, and he did. "I'm skipping school."
"Jack!"
"Bye Ralph." The darkness in Jack's eyes switched to his face and Ralph flinched at the tears on the redhead's cheeks.
"Jack please,"
"Goodbye. Ralph." The car pulled away, the door slamming shut as it went. His emotions turning to chaos, the brunette pulled his jacket closer to him. Oh, Jack. He ran a finger over his lips, trying to remember the exact roughness of the redhead's touch and to savor the electricity bubbling under his skin. If Jack's anger was anything to go by, they wouldn't be kissing again anytime soon. A brief memory flitted back to him, a memory that told him they had kissed before. It was absurd enough to make him roll his eyes. To banish the cold ache he felt as he watched Jack's Mustang turn the corner. It was enough to turn him around and push him towards the front office declared by a big sign post. Leaving him wishing, more than anything, he could be walking in with Jack by his side.

~
FLASHBACK:

Jack smiled to himself, memorizing the touch of Ralph's lips on his. Ralph may have thought he was hallucinating, but their brief embrace was enough to fill his stomach with warmth. Normally, he suffered from a great bout of sea sickness, and, now that they were on a ship, he came to the realization that he should have been leaning over the rails barfing by now. But the fire of the brunette's embrace was enough to heal him of his worries for now. Somewhere else on the ship, Ralph was on a hospital bed, his injuries being seen too. He was probably now on painkillers and was having blood pumped back into his weak, trembling body. If only Ralph would remember. A movement beside him made him turn. He was sharing a cabin with Roger, Sam and Eric. When he turned he recognized the dark features of Roger immediately. Roger. Roger who had helped kill Simon. Roger who had actually killed Piggy. Roger. The murderer. The greasy smile of Roger's was meant to be disarming, after all, the young lad would do anything for Jack's approval, as he had shown when he had tipped the boulder onto the annoying Piggy. Jack hadn't really hated Piggy. Not completely. Jealous? Sure. Ralph had spent all his time whispering back and forth with that boy. That had filled Jack with more rage than anything he had ever experienced. But the fact that Ralph hated him for 'killing Piggy' made him squirm and want to beat Roger until he confessed. Until he admitted he hadn't acted on Jack's orders. Until Roger made things right between Jack and Ralph. Roger sidled up beside him and sat down on the hammock, making it sway precariously.
"What are we going to do?" He asked. Jack hated the way Roger said 'we'. It made it seem like it was Jack's fault. It wasn't. It wasn't! Was it?
"We don't. They died in the fire. Like that birth mark boy. We did nothing. Nothing! You hear me?" The redhead turned to Roger, his eyes a warning.
"We did nothing." Roger echoed, swallowing loudly and pulling away. "Will we still get to see each other when we're home?"
"Bloody hell! I hope not!" The small boy - murderer - flinched at this. "I need a break. I'm going back to England."
"Is that where you are from?" Location hadn't mattered on the island.
"I spent 10 years of my life in England, 3 in America, and half of one on the Island." Roger nodded thoughtfully.
"I can come and visit though, can't I?" The thought was repulsive. Jack held back a gag.
"Sure. Maybe. Anyway. You go find Sam 'n Eric. I'm going to go see how Ralph is doing."
"Why?"
"... To make sure he stays silent?" Jack shrugged, "He knows the truth about us."
"We did nothing." Roger repeated Jack's earlier words and the redhead nodded. The truth was, he just wanted to make sure Ralph would be okay. Ralph had to be okay. Ralph needed to be okay.
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BE STILL MY BEATING HEART <3