RIKI II: Play The Game

Chapter TWENTY-FOUR

The order is in order. Work is work. I'm good, I guess. There's just a little problem I have. I call it little because I won't let it be a big one. I don't want it to be. It involves my feelings. You ever liked someone at the start? Then you really, really like that person when you start talking to them? That's another reason why I can't talk to people. I catch feelings. Girls in particular.

Okay, here goes. It's a girl named Breanne Snare. She's doing front desk work with me until she gets into the personal training role.

I remember the first time I looked at her in my peripheral and only saw red hair. When she went into Dakota's office for an interview, I knew she was going to work here. I didn't pay her any attention until she started her days at the desk.

Breanne's a model. Of course, she is. And I say that cynically. If I were to keep it a buck, she is attractive. In the face she's a wildflower. In terms of body, she's ripe. With her red hair, came the freckles on her face. I wonder if that's a common genetic trait. Blonde hair and blue eyes; black hair and brown eyes; red hair and spots.

Breanne moved to New York from Iowa like anyone who wants to get lucky with their hopes and dreams. She lives alone which I'm jealous of since I have yet to reach that stage. She likes fit guys, drinking, clubbing, fitness, sushi, brownies, GTA, Minecraft, Fortnite, and rice cake.

I feel like a loser having a crush on Breanne. Writing it down makes me feel lower, but it's the healthiest way I can deal with my feelings. In the beginning, I was a sarcastic asshole to Breanne. It was my way of resisting my attraction. I started liking her when I learned she looks up members on Instagram from their MOSO profile the same way I do. I like when she smiles and her golden-brown rimmed eyes. It's like looking into space. I like how straight forward she is and how she pays attention to detail. She can make me smile and laugh when I don't want to. I gotta hand it to the girl. She's a personality that rubbed off on me a bit. Okay, well, maybe a lot. I try to keep quiet and avoid Breanne most of the time. A part of me wants her to talk to me and see if she can meet me eye-to-eye. She's a challenge that I would take on. I want to know how far she would go while I played hard to get.

I like the way she says, "Huh?" and "Whut?" It's weird. I hate when she calls me her bestie. I keep telling her I'm not. When it comes to friendship, I've learned three things. First, be cautious. Second, loyalty is key. And third, you can't be friends with someone who you genuinely like.

Breanne draws too. She drew an octopus and fishes in an ocean on a post-it note. I would gaze at it where she stuck it on the desk. She inspired me to get back to drawing. I ended up doing Mario and Squidward. The way Breanne draws is basic. I do everything exactly how it is. When I drew Mario, she drew Yoshi. I took it from her when she was about to throw it away. When I went to my room, I put it in the back of my sketch book. But then I eventually ripped it to pieces as means of giving up my feelings for her. I wish I didn't.

Brianne can dance. I've only seen her do a few drops and movements of her hips, but I know she can do more. I had this scenario in my head where we would have a battle in a circle of people at a club. She pulls off her best moves and I do my own. If I win, I win her. And if she wins, she gets my wallet.

Now, if I were to make a list of things I didn't like about Breanne, it be this:

1. She's a Republican. And by that meaning not an LGBT fan, pro-life, and possibly racist.

2. She's stubborn and doesn't listen.

3. She has guys drooling over her on Hinge which she refers to as fishes. And she currently has a thing with someone else. Might be a fish on the side.

4. She's a fool. Like me. The difference is I know not to be consistent after the first few minutes.

I want to tell Breanne I like her, but my experience taught me to never do that. I don't like being rejected and I don't want to set myself up for it. I may like Breanne, but I'm not an idiot. I can't allow myself to be. It'll only complicate things at my job. On instinct, I think Breanne is dangerous. It's almost tempting to know what or how.