Music to my Ears [(Y/n) x Venti]

Chapter 20

  I gasped as my head finally broke through the water. My lungs stung and burned, leaving me to a long coughing fit. I couldn't open my eyes and my mouth was like that of a gaping fish. I couldn't even comprehend what was going on before I felt the hard stability of ground beneath me.

  "(Y/n)! Are you alright?!" A panicked voice said, finally leading me to notice the shaking arms embracing me.

  I opened my eyes, scared of what I was going to see. Luckily, it wasn't the amphibious hillichurl that so deeply scared me but the familiar face of Venti. His eyes were wide with concern and his lips were quivering with anticipation. He was drenched in water from head to toe, but he didn't even shiver as a gust of wind blew against us. He had saved me.

  "Is it gone?" I whispered, my teeth clattering.

  Seeing my spasms, he buried me into him, his head resting on my own and his hand raking through my wet hair in comfort.

  "Everything is fine. I'm here."

  I don't know why, but the way his voice sounded, so dulcet and loving in that moment, made my eyes sting with tears. I clung a little tighter to his cold cape, trying to search for the warmth I'd heard in his voice.

  With a tired voice, I murmured, "I missed hearing your real voice."

  He remained silent for a few moments, leaving silence for the wind to howl in our ears. Little else could be heard, save for the sporadic beating of his heart- a heart I knew was so big and caring for everyone but me. I felt his fingers twitch, before, to my relief, engulfing me in a hug.

  "Let's get you dry."

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  I don't remember much except for the warmth of a fire and its buoyant crackling in the silence. I was huddled up in a thick quilt, gathering warmth to ease my aching joints.

  "Venti?" I called, looking across from me towards the bard.

  Although he too had been drenched from head to toe and had even carried me to this camp, he looked neither cold nor tired. I wondered what other odd things I didn't know about him.

  He hummed in response, concentrating on taking out his braids. I'd never really seen him without his signature outfit, and yet, this was also something new I got to experience of him. The hat and cape he so religiously donned was drying on a nearby branch, along with my old set of clothes.

  "I'm cold..." I began, not knowing how else to imply my suggestion. He perked his head up, eyes studying my own.

  "Is the fire not big enough for you? Do you need a thicker change of clothes? I tried choosing something warm, but maybe I wasn't careful enough-"

  "I want you."

  I bowed my head, my forehead burning.

  "I don't know why, but after the lake, I'm so scared of being alone."

  I heard a sigh. "I don't know why you won't just tell me what happened. I want to be able to protect you."

  Even as he spoke those harsh words, I heard his soft footsteps coming towards me. He sat himself down next to my bundled figure, unsure of what to do next.

  "You'll think I'm a bad person." I mumbled, slipping some of the quilt over his shoulders weakly.

  "I know you aren't. A bard knows these things, you know."

  I folded into his warmth, my head burrowing in the crook of his neck. Although I had ample warmth from his body, I was hungry for more. My hands gingerly wrapped around his waist, holding on tightly.

  "(Y/n)..." he whispered in a panic, before sighing. The bard wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in careful bond. "Why do you do these things to me?"

  "I wanna tell you..." I continued sluggishly, oblivious to his question. "It was a hilichurl. But he had the face of a human. He was shouting things at me. He made me feel so guilty. I killed a human..."

  I broke into a quiet sob, sputtering inconsistent thoughts. My head felt so light, as though it would abandon me at any moment. I struggled to feel Venti's warmth against me. All I felt was my body convulsing with what could only be guilt, eating me from the inside out.

  "You're burning up." I heard his voice, so calm in contrast to my jerking thoughts. His hand felt so cool against my forehead, so unlike his warm self yet all the more welcoming in this moment.

  "I did such a bad thing. I didn't know he was a person. I thought he was a hilichurl-"

  "Shhh..." Venti whispered quietly in my ear, his voice sending jitters throughout me.

  I vaguely felt myself being picked up and taken someplace soft. Although the heat of the fire was gone, it was replaced with the warmth of quilts and blankets, insulating me protectively.

  "Promise me you won't hate me?" I choked, refusing to let go of the figure once it had put me down.

  "I swear it."

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The arched mountains were deep cerulean-stained in the cool evening, reaching for the angelic stars winking above. They looked as though they were swimming in an ocean deep with mysteries and secrets, cool with dignity and regard.

I knew this place. I could see its rugged earth and hear its breathy tongue and smell its rich incense and taste its cool winds and feel its people's resolve- a sharp sense of revolt and boldness and freedom.

  For a while, I wondered if dare I look hard enough, I would find my siblings, not yet chiseled and shaped for the harsh world, their brows not set into place in permanent hardship, their eyes brighter and carefree. And for a moment, I let my mind wander with a sting to the ones we'd lost along the way, yet the ones we had needed most. Could I still call them my parents, after I'd had to do everything without them? After they'd been missing from so many firsts, so many happy moments sitting in our hearts longing to be shared?

  How hard it had been, to have to leave this sacred place, to have to leave the only two who could make courage contagious. How my heart still longed for the past, although it had been beaten down by hopelessness so often. How it still clung to life, its shattered shards trying so desperately to come together like before.

  I tried to think of my life without them? Would they be proud? Piercing laughter echoed in my mind as several figures stood hunched over a small fireplace. Our home in Liyue still had the cream colored walls and cracked wood panels I remembered.

  I went even further back in time, when the house didn't seem so homely and the atmosphere as cozy. We had just moved in, so thankful to be off the streets, that we didn't even notice the horribly cramped living conditions. We were content to have a roof over our head and walls fortifying us in the inclosed space. It had taken months of stealing and working odd jobs, but it payed off at last.

  Again I visited the distant past- when we had just arrived in the bustling city. We thought for sure if we told people of our situation, how Khaenr'iah lay desolately in ruin and our own people slaughtered like beasts, they would take pity on us. How wrong we were. The first few months, everyone was too shocked to say much, instead opting to scurry away from our sight. However, when we were getting old news and the rumors were getting stale, so too were the people's hearts getting braver. They started hating us, and more so, letting us know clearly. We started getting glares. Then glares turned into rude remarks, and those in turn evolved into something dripping with pure despise. Sometimes, it got physical. That was when we were at our lowest, before moving away.

  I wanted to go further back to what happened between Liyue and Khaenr'iah, to connect the two pieces of memory together, and yet they wouldn't merge. They seemed like two entirely different lives, unable to ever collide with one another. What happened between the destruction of Khaenr'iah and our arrival to Liyue? It hadn't been that long, so why couldn't I remember? That hellish night was so fuzzy, and yet, the calm after the storm was even more of a blur.

  What was I missing? Why couldn't I remember? Just why wouldn't these two events fit together like puzzle pieces?