From now on - Calzona

Chapter 3

"Hey, just on time." Meredith said as Callie came through the door. "Dinners just ready, girls are just washing up."

"Perfect, thank you, how was Sofia?" She asks as puts her bag down next to the sofa.

"Great, she has been upstairs with Zola the whole time, Zola missed her." Meredith said as Callie followed her in to the kitchen. "How was Arizona, she talk with you?"

"Yeah, we talked, thankfully. She's doing okay considering. I feel really bad Mer, all this time I thought she was just putting work over Sofia, the arguments we had because of it and it turns out she can't fly. She's scared" Meredith frowned in confusion. "I thought she had flown with Alex?"

"That's what I said but turns out she had nightmares for weeks after that and hasn't been able to fly since and that makes me feel even worse, we were together then Mer, and I didn't know she was having nightmares."

"Yeah, it's hard, I have nightmares still, I have flown a few times since but every time I do, the memories it brings back can be intense, and I always swear I won't fly again."

"How do you do it?"

"I mostly freak out, sometimes I get drunk" She smiled.

"Arizona tried that too, it didn't work." Callie sighed as she picked up the plates to take over to the table as Meredith filled the glasses with drinks.

"You have to remember that Arizona not only has to live with the emotional pain but she has a physical reminder. I lost my sister, we all lost a friend. But most of us all came back with injuries that we were able to let heal and forget about, never see again, but Arizona's injury will always be there to remind her of that time, that can't be easy for her."

"Do you remember that plane crash that happened here not long before you left I think, Richard saw the plane crash and they brought all the victims from the plane and those that had been on the ground, and I remember when I heard what happened and I saw all those people crying and screaming and the injuries my mind went straight back to those few days we were stranded, and all I wanted was to find Arizona, she was the only other person in the hospital who was with me that day and understood, and I searched everywhere for her while I was freaking out, and I found her in a cupboard and she was freaking out too, and we sat there together telling ourselves that we were okay. Over and over we repeated it." Meredith said remembering how hard that moment was. "Point is I hadn't had nightmares for months before that happened and I then had them for a short period afterwards. Derek never knew either, I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to worry about it. Maybe Arizona did the same thing after she had flown with Alex, sometimes we just want to protect the people we love." Meredith said as she walked out to the hallway to shout the kids down for dinner.

Callie did remember the crash in Seattle and she remembered that she had turned down Alex Karev's pleas for her help with Arizona, and she regretted that too, she had said she couldn't be that person for Arizona anymore and she believed it to be true at the time, but now thinking back, why could she not have at least checked up on her. Just because they had broken up didn't mean she couldn't have been there as a friend for her daughters mother in a time that had obviously been highly distressing. Just one more thing to add to her ever growing list of regrets.

"So, what's going to happen now?" she asked as she came back in to the kitchen.

"I don't know, I told her we would figure something out. If I need to travel with Sofia myself I will. Sometimes I wonder why I am even staying in New York still, I have nothing keeping me there, Sofia is obviously unhappy, she misses Arizona." Callie said "I guess I will have to think things over, do what's best for Sofia. I guess I never did that before" She finished off quietly just as the kids all came running in to the kitchen, full of laughter.