Eden hijinks

Incorrect Quotes part 6

Alex: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Alyssa: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Leto: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Luc: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Liana: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Jenny:
Jenny: I have emotional scars.

Alyssa: Leto... How do I begin to explain Leto?
Ava: Leto is flawless.
Jenny: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Luc: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Alex: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

Liana: Croissants: dropped
Jenny: Road: works ahead
Leto: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Ava: Shavacado: fre
Luc: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Zilar:
Zilar, grumpy: I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Liana: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Alex: Okay, but what is updog?
Luc: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Ava: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Zilar: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Alyssa: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Liana: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Ava: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Luc: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Alex: What's a henway??
Liana: Oh, about five pounds.

*The squad right before Jenny's wedding*
Leto: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Ava: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Zilar: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Liana: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Alyssa, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

Alex: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Alyssa: >:O language
Luc: Yeah watch your fucking language
Leto: OKAY WHO TAUGHT LUC THE FUCK WORD?
Zilar: 'The fuck word'.
Liana: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Luc: Oh my god they censored it
E: Say fuck, Liana.
Luc: Do it, Liana. Say fuck.

Jenny: Just be yourself.
Alex: 'Be myself'? Jen, I have one day to win Alyssa over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Luc: Couple weeks.
Leto: Six months.
Zilar: Jury's still out.
Alex: See, Jen?
Alex: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Zilar: Well, aren't you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you're out to save the world!
Liana: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Ava: More or less, I guess...
Jenny: That sounds awesome! Let's do that!
Leto: I'm new here, but I am open to the concept.
Alyssa: I thought that's what we were doing, guys, come on!

*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Luc: Thanks fam!
Leto: oh no
Jenny: *cries* I love you too
Liana: Sounds fake but okay
Ava: *A flustered mess*
Alex: can I get a refund

Alyssa: Time for plan G.
Ava: Don't you mean plan B?
Alyssa: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Liana: What about plan D?
Alyssa: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Jenny: What about plan E?
Alyssa: I'm hoping not to use it. Zilar dies in plan E.
Alex: I like plan E.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Zilar: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Jenny: ...I did. I broke it.
Zilar: No. No you didn't. Alex?
Alex: Don't look at me. Look at Ava.
Ava: What?! I didn't break it.
Alex: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Ava: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Alex: Suspicious.
Ava: No, it's not!
Liana: If it matters, probably not, but Leto was the last one to use it.
Leto: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Liana: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Leto: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Liana!
Jenny: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Zilar.
Zilar: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Liana: Zi... Alex's been awfully quiet.
Alex: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Zilar, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Zilar: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Zilar:
Zilar: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.