So Alone

Chapter 6: Covid

As you may know, Covid hit the world and a pandemic started. I thought I completely lost my chance with Matthew. My parents only found out I like Matthew because when I eat really fast, that means I have a crush on someone. It's a weird quirk, but it's what I do.

Because we were sort of in the middle of the school year in semester 2, the school provided optional work. Basically if you did the work your grades would raise but your grades could not get any lower. Since I had nothing to do, I did some schoolwork until my grades were to my liking. The only low grade was an A- in math, because I didn't feel like doing anymore after burning myself out.

Lance would email me every day at 7:00 AM sharp. If I slept in just ever so slightly, he would spam me thinking that he was blocked or something. Once I work up to the emails like this...
"P"
"L
"E"
"A"
"S"
"E"
"Unblock me!"
Oh yeah, again, they didn't have phones so we were forced to use Gmail..

Yes, I was still dealing with the Lance and Emily stuff during Covid as well. Yes, it was still getting unbearable.

One morning I woke up at 7am and received an email from Matthew instead of Lance. I got overly excited and me and him began to chat up a storm daily. Sometimes I would forget Lance even existed. Matthew did admit that he used to think me being playful with him was annoying, but one day into Covid he realized how much he missed it. He admitted that in truth, he actually did really enjoy me being playful with him. No other girl was playful with him before. He also let me talk about what had been going on with me, Lance, and Emily.
"I honestly think you shouldn't be a part of this at all. I know you want to help, but they're hurting you. They're being rude." Then he used my new favorite word. "You also need to be more optimistic."
"Matthew, it was like I was climbing up an ice mountain. Continuously slipping and falling down just to get back up and try over and over again. Once I finally reached the top, Lance and Emily were both up there waiting for me just to kick me down, only for you to catch me as I fell. Thank you for everything."

After talking to him about it, I took his advice and tried to be more optimistic. It worked. I began to ignore Emily more and talked to Matthew even more. At some point I felt ready to confess my feelings to him.
"Matthew I have something to tell you,"
"What is it?"
"Uhh.."
"Come on."
"I'll give you a hint. I hate you, but it's the opposite."
"Well either you hate Lance or like me, but I doubt it."
"I do. I like you."
"Well, it isn't one sided."
I was in shock. "What?"
"Man and I thought I was bad with hints!"

However it wasn't until a bit less than a week I told my parents that I confessed. I had my mom help me write up an gmail to him explaining how I wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend. My mom did include in the gmail that if he didn't reciprocate, it would be fine just to be girl and boy best friends. However he agreed to start dating and my heart was fluttering like never before. I was overly happy, I finally didn't get rejected!