Jopper Oneshots

Grief

Joyce sat on her bed with his uniform in her hands, tears streaming down her face. She burried her face in the fabric, inhaling his scent, which still lingered on the shirt. On this day was his funeral and she needed all her strenght and power to get through the day. She looked over to the curtain rail, where a beautiful black dress hung, which ones was supposed to be for their first date. When she was ready, her hair and make up was done, the black dress fit her like a glove, she watched her in the mirror. „Hey Hop... this is for you. I hope you can see it, wherever you are now. I love you. Maybe forever. You've always have a place in my heart." A quiet knock on the door interrupted her soliloquy. „Mom, are you ready? We have to go. Will and El are in the car already. Are you ok? I know this is hard for you. Is there anything I can do?" Jonathan stood awkwardly in the doorway. „Thank you baby. For everything. Honestly I am not ok. But that is ok. It's ok for all of us to not be ok. Like a wise man once said: That feeling never goes away. But everyday it does get a little easier."

The drive to the funeral was quiet. Everyone looked out of another window, completely in thoughts. They sat down in the front row, El was shaking from crying. It seemed that whole Hawkins was there. Even if Hopper had not many friends, everyone respected him. The hero of Hawkins, who saved so many lifes. Not just at the „mall fire". Joyce couldn't really follow the ceremony. She was so in thoughts by Hopper, untill the pastor cleared his throat loudly „hm hm.. Mrs. Byers will say a few words about Jim." Jonathan nudged her gently in her side. She stood up and went slowly to the podium, laid her note on the table and pulled the microphone down to her height. Joyce looked straight to the framed, large picture of him, where he smiled down on her in his uniform.

„Jim Hopper was the bravest Man I've ever met. He had a heart of gold. His ultimate gole in life, was to protect the ones, that he loved. Which he did all the time. He gave everything for his daughter. He loved her with his whole heart, no matter what. There are so many good feautures of him, I could list, but that would go beyond the scope. I am so thankful, that I had the privilege of knowing him. He meant a lot to me. How do I say goodbye to someone who's been with me for almost my whole life? I think I speak for all of us, when I say Jim will always have a place in my heart."

Joyce sat down beside Jonathan and the ceremony continued. She couldn't follow a single minute. All she could think about were those three little words, left unspoken between them. The many missed opportunities and how she longed for him, his touch, his kiss. Her grief was tremendous and so was El's. Joyce wrapped her arm around El and tried to comfort her as best as possible. So many people stopped by and expressed their condolences, treated her like his widow, because they knew. Everybody knew, except her she thought. Joyce holded it together for the kids, until it wasn't possible any longer. She bursted into tears and her body shook from crying. Finally the funeral was over and they could go home. Joyce cried the whole drive and didn't stop when they came home. She went straight to her bedroom, closed the door and laid in her bed, his uniform wrapped around her. She cried and cried and cried. For the first time in her life, Joyce Byers let all her feelings go.

The kids didn't know what to do. „Jonathan, what should we do? I've never seen her like this." Will asked worried. „You know, thats why she never loved one before the way she loved Hopper. Not even Bob. Sure, she loved Bob, but Hopper... this is different. Let's all go to her, maybe it helps her, when she doesn't feel so alone." said Jonathan. „I know that Hopper loved her too. He ones said it, but he didn't had to. The way he looked at her, it was so special." El said before they went to Joyce's door and knocked, before going in. Wordless all three of them laid down on the bed and held her until she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. There were no words necessary. This night, the whole family slept in Joyces bed, wrapped around eachother.

Their first night in California, Joyce laid in bed like so often wrapped in his uniform. It didn't smell like him anymore. That night she thought about his words, when he said to her: „everyday it does get a little easier." she wondered, when the hell it really does get easier. His funeral was three months ago, but the pain didn't go away and it wasn't easier, not a little bit.

She missed him so much, it hurt. Everytime, when El was sad, or had a good day on the other hand, she talked to him. Joyce couldn't stop thinking of him. She wasn't ready to let him go. There was no body to say goodbye to, maybe because of this it was so hard to let go. She knew, that it was hard for El too. Before they mooved to California, they found the speech he wrote for El and Mike. Sometimes, she found the letter in El's clothes, when she wanted to wash her clothes and El forgot it to took it out of her pocket. And the fact, she always kept the door open three inches. It hurt. It just hurt.