Polaroids || Muke au

s e v e n

*unedited

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"michael!" luke smiles brightly, and michael couldn't help but think it was wrong. "hey, i was just going to- were you going somewhere?" he takes a step back, looking him over just a moment too long. michael shifts from one foot to the other, resting all of his weight on his left side. it was a nervous tick he'd had since he was little, and luke picked up on it almost immediately.

"uh, yeah, actually. i was just on my way to calum's." michael tugs the sleeves of his sweater down over his hands, curling his fingers into the fabric.

"oh." luke pulls his phone out to check the time, 12:01 printed in white on his lock screen, "i'm sorry, i thought i was supposed to pick you up at noon."

it feels kind of like they're stuck in maple syrup; everything is sluggish and uncomfortable. michael looks down at his scuffed up vans, grinding the toe of his right one into the awful apartment hallway carpeting. "you were," he says, cursing the fact that he didn't leave for calum's earlier, "you're on time. i was just-"

"going to ditch." luke supplies, and michael nods, mouth completely dry. he hates this, hates them; hates the complete lack of control he has over the situation.

"this was a bad idea." luke sighs, and the sound cuts through the too-quiet hallway, "i'll just- i'll leave and you can go to calum's." he slips his phone back into his back pocket, looking entirely too run down. and michael caves.

again.

"no, just," he closes his eyes for a moment, twisting his sleeve, "let's go. you're here now, so we might as well."

"michael-" luke begins, and michael can practically hear his heart beat break and stutter at the sound. luke does not have the right to sound like that. he does not have the right to say michael's name like he's entirely too in love with him. not anymore.

"god, no, just- luke, can we please go?" michael feels the need to cringe, because his voice broke when luke's name tumbled from his lips and it sounded like he was begging. which was so completely wrong, since luke was the one who initiated all of this. luke should be the one begging. at least then michael would feel a little better about himself, if only for a moment.

"are you sure?" luke rocks back onto his heels, and michael isn't entirely sure how he keeps from toppling over.

god no, michael thinks, "yes," he says instead. he clenches his hands into fists at his side, his nails digging crescents into the fleshy part of his palm.

"okay," luke says, "so, coffee?"

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the brew was a small hole-in-the-wall coffee shop tucked between a three-story bar and a clothing boutique. the baristas made coffee like no other and while there was always a steady flow of customers, it was hardly ever crowded crowded. it used to be michael's favourite place, and luke had made a habit of taking him there for a date every tuesday night at 6 o'clock on the dot.

michael hasn't stepped foot through the door since three days after luke broke up with him. broke up with, as if he actually talked it through with michael. as if he hadn't just left him to wake up alone.

michael couldn't identify anyone bustling around behind the counter today, which was kind of shocking for him, if only for a second. last year he would have been able to address everyone by first name- that was how much time he spent at the place. now he didn't even recognize the mousy girl pulling espresso shots behind the bar.