Bnha One-shots

WAKE UP, PLEASE!

Inspiration was from the book midoriya izuku is not depressed by  @wei_lyn - the story can be found in my BNHA/MHA reading list.

**This chapter includes suicide, mentions of panic attacks, and self-harm. It's very angsty but part of this is a headcanon of mine**

Izuku was tired. Of everyone and everything. He had just helped save Eri, and just gotten back to having a normal schedule, at least as normal of a schedule as you can get when you're Izuku. It had also started to get cold, worsening his exhaustion.

He was constantly surrounded by people. His friends, Eri, his teachers, his mother, paparazzi. He was tired of it. His façade was starting to wear him down. He was tired of having to answer questions. Tired of not being able to sit in quiet and just think. Granted being surrounded was usually better than thinking, but not this time.

This time being surrounded by people made him think more. Worse than he usually does. He thinks about how he worried his mother so much, how she was so scared she almost passed out from an anxiety attack. He thinks about how the paparazzi are surrounding U.A., making it hard for students to get in and out, making it easier for them to get hurt by villains hidden in the crowd. He thinks about how his friends almost got hurt because he was too careless around Overhaul, how he let his guard down too quickly. He thinks about how he was the reason for Nighteye's death. Mirio losing his mentor and quirk, and All Might losing his ex-partner, his friend.

He thinks about how he caused his homeroom teacher to have a scar he's forever stuck with, he caused his teacher to over-exhaust himself so Izuku wouldn't be erased from existence. And then the worst thought, the uselessness. He couldn't defeat Overhaul without having to exploit Eri and her quirk. He couldn't help Kirishima and Tamaki. He didn't even realize that the League was there! He was careless enough for Toga to have his blood. She could've hurt anyone while looking like him!

He thought about the voices. The ones that tell him he's useless. The ones that tell him that he had to rely on a child to save people. The ones that say that everyone is pretending. The ones that tell him that Aizawa doesn't call him Problem Child out of fondness, but rather out of anger at his accident-prone self.

He was fine though. Nothing was wrong. He was fine with his life. He's achieving his dream, he has friends, Kachaan doesn't hate him anymore, and he was able to save money for his mother to finally live comfortably in her home. People might say he was overworking himself, but he wasn't. He's fine. Right?

He heard the bell ring, it was officially the weekend. His classmates invited him to the weekly Friday movie night. He agreed and went to his dorm to change out of his uniform. If you walked into his dorm you would know he isn't the same Izuku from the beginning of the year. All his All Might memorabilia was gone, sold to raise money for his mother. There were clothes everywhere, his Hero Analysis notebooks had been thrown randomly about the room, he had dirty dishes and plenty of moldy food that he just couldn't stomach lying around.

He changed into a pair of basketball shorts and one of Katsuki's shirts that he had been given after breaking down in front of Katsuki about how he missed their friendship. It was honestly one of the only things that kept Izuku alive, the comforting smell of his long-time childhood friend turned crush turned bully. He went downstairs to join his classmates, them not noticing his appearance.

They had decided on a movie to watch, Kiki's Delivery Service, at least he thinks that was what it was called. Halfway through the movie, he had gotten tired, so he went up to his dorm. He plopped down onto his bed, tired. Mentally, emotionally, physically.

He had trained too much for the past few weeks. Not wanting to give those around him more trauma or fear. He never wanted Kachaan to have nightmares again, never wanted him to worry about being kidnapped again. He never wanted Eri to worry about being taken by Overhaul, and being hurt again. He never wanted Aizawa to risk his life just to protect Izuku again. He never wanted his friends' lives almost taken away while he was there again. He never wanted All Might to think that he couldn't be a hero again.