Love or War?

Understanding

Sometimes they'd go out and sometimes they would stay at home enjoying each other's company. It was extremely hard, one wanted to quit and the other wanted nothing more than to spend all their lives together.
Love and war? If you could call it that. It was an internal battle with him, he loved him, he loved him so much he was sure he'd die for him.
But love is silly at times, and love is deceiving and so what he believed was wrong. He started to grow tired of hiding and sneaking around. He started to grow tired of missing the love of his life. And as much as he wanted he couldn't. Louis didn't know how to handle his life anymore and Harry wasn't much of a help. Harry did indeed love Louis with everything that he was but he noticed that Louis wasn't being the same.
One rainy Saturday morning Louis had to go to school and Harry did too but the worse part is that they didn't assist the same academy. They were texting each other non stop but the night before they had been arguing so it was a little hard for them to act okay. When out of the blue a boy texted Louis from his lovers phone. "Hi Louis," said the boy "this is Ed."
Irritated, Louis answered "Hi, can you give my boyfriend his phone?" Mockingly the boy replied "no, not really. I have it. And soon enough I will have him too." At this point Louis wanted to kill him, he wanted to show him that no one would talk like that About Harry and that no one would ever and could never disrespect his relationship like that. "Listen nigga, I don't know who you are but you better give him the phone" argued Louis . "Lol I'm not black" mocked Ed. "I didn't ask you for your race NIGGA, Get my boyfriend"
The boy read the message and didn't reply.
The day after Harry and Louis were supposed to meet up but Harry never showed, instead his sister came. Louis very irritated asked Gemma "where's Harry?" Gemma very upset replied "he went to a parade with Ed, he's slept over for three nights and they've been talking about you Lou. I'm sorry." Disappointed and hurt, unsure of what to say he answered "tell your brother I hate him.." Sacred "No don't tell him that please, I love him. But don't tell him that either. Just tell him I don't want to speak to him ever again." His eyes began to flood with tears and Gemma didn't know how to react. Instead she left and did as she was told.
Louis had a very religious mother, she would always tell him about God and he would always have to go to church. His week consisted of church, church and more church. He had no say in what he did and how he did it. Since the moment Louis started dating Harry his mother didn't allow them to see each other and now Harry was forced to sneak over and constantly go to church. Very strong Christian believes, his mother was against homosexuality and believed her son was gay. Yes, she was right but she didn't know that and Louis preferred it that way. He began to have anxiety attacks. Johannah "can I see your phone?" And Louis would start shaking and sweating, his heart would accelerate and it grew worse, so bad one day he ended up at the hospital. That Sunday he went to church and when Gemma Told him about Ed he couldn't control himself. He felt that all the games had started again, he was breaking. Louis had no choice but to leave Harry and so he did and that night Ed slept over again. Again, Louis didn't know anything and Louis called Harry because as a man he'd grow horny from time to time. He called the love of his life and they stroked their hardness while on the phone, well at least Louis did, he began to moan and he wanted Harry to moan also but Harry didn't and Louis started to cry because he was loosing the only thing he had in this world. Later that night Harry confessed that Ed was sleeping over again and that they were sharing the same bed. Louis' heart broke in a million pieces, he'd pull his beautiful brown hair and he's tug at his shirt. Self harm entered his life again that day, he believed he was worthless. He'd listen to "Half A Heart" on replay and the days grew longer. That week alone Louis lost 5lbs. He wanted to smoke up, and he did. He was high in the clouds. With a body full of liquor and a cocaine kicker he had forgotten everything about Ed and Harry and Gemma and Johannah and this god that was supposed to love and help him but for some reason didn't like gay men.

*****Author's Note: this is my very first fanfiction. I encourage everyone who reads this to leave some comments on how I could improve my writing skills. I also encourage everyone to star it and to share it.