Days Before Past (Unfinished)

Chapter 1.3

I wanted to stop crying but my tears are endlessly pouring, and the only thing that I can think of is how to calm myself down from the raging emotions that I feel, as Dale's hug gets tighter every lasting second. I am such a coward that even in a moment like this, all that I can still think of is to escape.

It was like I'm trapped inside his arms, chained and can't get out, and I'm just right there surprisingly not trying to escape. He's like a drug stopping me from thinking straight every time I'm with him, and it was a moment where the time stopped, but as much as I also wanted to stay like that forever, I know that it's near impossible. I gathered up all the strength and finally I was able to push him off, I don't know if it was the best or the worst that I could but it was all that I can think of so I can finally recollect myself from that emotionally exhausting moment. Dale remained there standing that's like somehow expecting me to do or say something, I don't know what does he really expect from me, "Do you still think it'll be that easy going back what we were before?" that's the first and the only words that came out of my mouth, then he replied, "But I'm not expecting us to go back, I'm just really glad to see you again that I get all giddy as this." After hearing that all I can think of is laugh because of how we feel the same seeing each other. I told him how I tried to forget him and all the memories of us together and the only answer I get is that it's alright, how cliché it is that I never expected him to ever tell me that. He should be mad at me for all the immature thing that I did, but why is he all cozy to me after everything, as if he just waited me to come back - as if he expected it to happen, Is that how narrow minded I look like to him? That after everything that happen I'll just crawl back to him?

I proceeded walking and as I get past him I heard him ask, "So, you'll just runaway again?"

That question gave me the idea, he was right that it's not wrong if we start all over again, there was no reason to try avoiding and hurting myself again. I turned back at him abruptly telling him, "Sorry... for everything" that was the last time I'll face him with a forced smile. "You wanted to start over right? Then let's start to when we haven't met each other yet" I added, and that was my last conversation with him about our past.

Turns out he's right, there is a better way than avoiding him and limiting my grounds so that I won't bump into him, now all that I need to control is how I act around him. Still not knowing if this decision is for the best since I still feel unwell, I already bursted out all the thoughts that was coating my mind but I never felt relief.

I still carried on to my plan of visiting countryside and to calm myself there, since it's weekend I decided to stay there for a day and escape all the troubled thoughts I left in the city. For now, I turned my phone off and decided to focus on enjoying that short but relaxing vacation that I got for myself, and the best part is that no one but myself knows where I am, not even Dale.

A fresh start to prepare for summer break is what I am aiming when I get back to the city, and although there are things that might threat that plan, I am confident because for once I made a calculation formula that expects for an unprecedented result.

End of 1st Chapter...