For some reason I don't feel whole, even though I did something generous for Berry and her parents, I still didn't feel stable.
I didn't have to send the message on to her parents, I could've said no and left Berry's soul trapped here on Earth trying to look for someone else to help her . But I didn't. I said yes and went on and told her parents her last goodbyes, her last requests ,her last signs of unknowing love and still I don't feel..... Happy.
"Ivy, why aren't you asleep?" My mum comes in with my travel bag full of clothes tucked under her left arm and a soft smile playing on her lips. I reach out to her begging for her comfort and love so I can demolish this confusion in my soul, with no hesitation she drops my bag on the chair beside me and sits next to me allowing me to crawl onto her lap and snuggle my head into her chest.
Right now I felt home.
Right now I was at ease.
Right now I just wanted the comfort from my mother.
I look up to mum and stare into her grey eyes, smiling at the sight of undying beauty my mother hold to show to the world, not just from her face but from her soul she shares her love to everyone who looks at her. The apple pie and cinnamon scent rubs off her sweater and clings onto my skin, making me smell just as delicious, I inhale deeply feeling drunken by her scent.
Mum brushes my hair away from my eyes and kisses my forehead, taking a deep breath.
Maybe far away, or maybe real nearby.
He's probably pouring her coffee.
She's probably straightening his tie.
Maybe in a house, all hidden by a hill.
She's sittin' playing piano.
He's sittin' paying the bills.
Mum sings the song " Maybe" in my ear, her voice is so beautiful and elegant it has never changed from when I was a little girl, lying like this in her arms I felt like I was five years old again. Her finger lightly strokes along the bridge of my stubble nose, slowly pulling me out of consciousness.
Bet ya they're young, bet ya they're smart.
Bet they collect things like ashtrays and art.
Bet ya they're good, why shouldn't they be.
Their only mistake was giving up me.
So.....maybe now its time
And maybe it's when I wake
They'll be there calling me baby
Maybe.....
As I close my eyes at the last note, instead of just hearing my mothers voice a male voice joins in too, I open my eyes just a little bit longer to find a teenage boy standing next to the window looking out to the night sky, his bright, blues eyes flickering to every star he counts. His voice was so strong, so deep but most of all so perfect, just as addicting as mums voice and I wanted to hear more.
The boy glances down to me singing the song over and over again, he would hit every high note exactly and drop to the low notes so strongly his had slowly hypnotised me, I just sat there listening intently taking in the melody trapping his voice in side my head.
"Ivy, what's wrong? What are you looking at?" I jump slightly at mums voice, I forgot that mum was still here.
"Nothing. I was staring at nothing." Mum sighs and looks away to check the time on the clock hanging lifelessly on the wall, I quickly turn my head watching the boy sit there in a pair of ripped, baggy pants and a grey t-shirt hanging on him snuggly, he didn't have any wounds on him which was good but I could tell he didn't die from a natural cause.
"Ivy Rosie Adele, what are you looking at?!" Mum summons me again giving me a worried look, I had to tell her why and I had to tell her about Berry. I can't let mum think I was some loony, even though telling her this will possibly send me straight to the loony bin. But I have to try.
"Yea mum there is something I'm looking at." I say quietly. Mum gives me a stern look and stares at the window expecting to see something but it's no use, I can only see the boy.
"Mum, if I tell you this please don't think I'm insane." Mum now gives me a scared look and frowns, nows my moment to speak up.
"Mum.... I can see ghosts."
A horrified expression pours onto mums face and without a words mum pushes me away grabbing her jacket and keys, she sprints out the door leaving me drown in my own sorrow..... I thought she would understand.
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