𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐧 ✓

{ 8 }

Chapter 8 — Final Rejection

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I've dragged this out long enough.
To keep it short, Sakura ghosted me.

She said she had to take a phone call after class and after waiting outside the school for twenty minutes, I go back in the building to where she said she would be and I couldn't find her. I look around the area for a bit, trying to find her somewhere, anywhere. However, it seemed like she just (excusing the pun), turned into a ghost and just fucking vanished.

Fucking figures.

I walk home and throw my bag somewhere in my room, afterwards realising I probably shouldn't have done that due to the various glass bottles and, well, my laptop were all in my bag. I sigh to myself, trying to figure out how in the world I was going to tell Eunchae what had happened in a way that wouldn't completely ruin her night.

Right, she's got her own set of friends she hangs out with now. What were their names again? Bahiyyih and Kyujin? Attempting to clear my head, I decide take a piece of paper of the stack that neatly sits on my desk (possibly done by my dad since I can't be clean for shit and he likes to be nosy and invade my privacy every other week) and I sit down on my bed, leaning against the wall as I stare at the blank sheet.

Not knowing what else to do, I write 'I'M FEARLESS' at the top in capitals. Then my brain starts to tick again. What's so special about these words...? The more I think, my mind starts to drift away from the words on the page. I start to think about Yunjin, Eunchae, Kazuha and Sakura. I decide to write their names down too. I can feel the dandelion petals start to scratch and claw at the inside of my body the more I think about them, but I'm too focused about the words in front of me I don't notice the subsequent tsunami of blood rapidly bubbling behind the petals. One rejection after another. It burns. It burns so badly I don't even notice my shaking hand proceed to write my own name down on the paper.

I'M FEARLESS.

HUH YUNJIN.
HONG EUNCHAE.
NAKAMURA KAZUHA.
MIYAWAKI SAKURA.

KIM CHAEWON.

Before I could process anything else, I'm in my bathroom, emptying my stomach of blood, petals and puke. My father comes rushing in at the noise and softly rubs my back, whispering small affirmations as if it'd make me feel better at the moment.

When I'm done I turn to him. I'm tear-stricken, blood all over my chin, hands and clothes. And of course, to top it all off, a stray dandelion petal on my lips.
"Dad...?" I mutter out.
"What is it Chaewon?"
"I don't know what to do." I sigh. He looks at me with sadness, but he sits down, pressing his back against the wall.

He encourages me to keep talking and I talk. I tell him that there are these words that are bothering me. They aren't insults, just, purely random words that are seemingly following me everywhere. He hums softly as he scratches his head, trying to receive the answer from out of his brain. He looks back at me after a few moments of silence.
"I don't know if it will help, but what if you try and scramble the words together? Make your own words out of them and try to make sense of it. If you come across a scrambled version that makes you pause for a moment, a version that looks familiar to you, maybe that's what your brain was trying to tell you." He attempts to smile at me, as I just go blank. Scramble the words?

I nod softly and get up off the floor, telling my father that I'll try and get a shower to just have some time to sit with my thoughts. He nods in understanding and gets up, gives me a quick hug and leaves to give me some time alone.

After I get changed after my shower, I sit down again with the piece of paper and begin scrambling up the words. Around halfway through, Sakura calls me.
"Chaewon?"
"What do you want? I'm busy."
"Chaewon I'm so sorry."
"I don't care Sakura, I waited for you and you ghosted me."
"Chaewon listen to me, I can explain myself."
"You have two minutes." I scoff, picking up a pen and continue to scramble the words together. It makes me feel like I'm in an escape room, trying to find the combination to unlock the safe. So far, none of the scrambled versions stick. I write a couple more down as Sakura starts to talk through about her phone call she was having at school just a few hours earlier. My hand, moving on it's own, decides to write everyone's names again for some bizarre reason that my brain cannot fathom.

I'M FEARLESS.

"Chaewon, people have told me things about you and I know it's bad to assume..."

KIM CHAEWON.

"Chaewon, please believe me when I say I appreciate you as a friend, especially after all this time..."

MIYAWAKI SAKURA.

"Chaewon, it's hard to ignore the way you act sometimes and to try and convince others that they're wrong..."

HUH YUNJIN.

"Chaewon, I just don't know if inviting you out was a good decision, and so I felt like I had to ghost you, otherwise..."

NAKAMURA KAZUHA.

"Chaewon I promise, I don't mean to hurt your feelings or anything, you've been a great friend to me for so long but... I just don't know..."

HONG EUNCHAE.

"Chaewon please, just say something."

LE SSERAFIM.

My eyes go wide. That's it!

"Don't make this harder on me Chaewon."
"W-what?"
"I can't do this if you're just going to fall in love, I can't contribute to these wild fantasies." I hang up on Sakura and drop my phone down the side of my bed. I rush back to the bathroom to cough up whatever flower petals made their way up after Sakura's little speech, with only one thought in my mind.

I finally have it. The answer I've been looking for. LE SSERAFIM.