Mutual Friends | Lando Norris

Chapter 18 - Bury The Castle

Zoey's POV

I didn't go back to sleep after Liv's phone call.

It shook something in me that I had since forgotten about. I guess things had been good for so long, we eventually forgot about these episodes of hers.

When they do occur, they pop up like a glitch in the system and no one knows why they happen but after helping her through these twice now, I have a theory about what might trigger them.

I think sometimes if she has enough significant trauma and doesn't really process it, it becomes too much for her to carry both emotionally and mentally and then starts to physically manifest itself in her reality.

Bianca was the first to get there and the person who let me in when I arrived a couple of hours later. We were now huddled up on the floor of Liv's bedroom, sharing a salad and trying to make sense of it all.

"I thought she was over the schizophrenic delusions or whatever," the blonde said whispering, trying not to wake our sleeping friend. It was late in the afternoon and Liv had been sleeping for the past 9 hours. Her body must've been really fatigued.

"It's not that simple," I said shaking my head as I whispered back to her. "Firstly, she's Paraphrenic, not schizophrenic and no one gets over schizophrenia Bianca. It's not like a cold or something you can fight off with antibiotics. Yes, she has psychotic delusions but hers are different and very rare."

I felt bad for wishing this would've happened when we were still all at my place in the Netherlands. At least that way, it would'nt have been in a toxic space but I can't change what's happened now. At least I didn't have a run in with Zak on my way in.

"You say that like I'm supposed to know what Paraphrenia is Zoey." She rolled her blue eyes and crossed her arms. "Just make it make sense but in a Grey's anatomy kind of way."

I couldn't help but notice how Bianca's energy always seemed to shift when it was just the two of us, like how it was now as she 'teased' my name out of her mouth. A hint of irritation coming between us as neither one of us felt the need to keep up with the false pretence.

She was Liv's other best friend, not mine. Yes we got along well most of the time but we were also very different from each other. She could be all over the place, even suffocating at times. I prefer a toned down everyday life. I thrive in routine and structure. I don't want to bring the drama back home with me, Bianca on the other hand is the drama.

Liv is like me in that regard, or at least she used to be before she moved back here. Bianca and I have our differences but our shared love for her brings us together.

"Paraphrenia is different from schizophrenia because while both disorders result in delusions and hallucinations, people with schizophrenia show extreme changes in personality whereas people with Paraphrenia maintain a well-preserved personality and affective response. So as much as she's hallucinating, she's able to react as her normal self without the crazy."

"Oh." There was a moment of silence as I watched a strange look overcome Bianca's face. Something between confusion and worry.

"I think that's why she cold showered with her clothes on, why she was so fixated on a stain that wasn't there and why she thought she was talking to her mom when she called me. She cried herself to sleep you know? I heard it over the phone." My voice cracked as the lump in the back of my throat got heavier.

"Do you think Zak knows?" she asked.

"I don't know, which reminds me, do you know where she keeps her medication? I couldn't find a trace of a single antidepressant in her stuff."