by reason of insanity (JOKER X READER) ❌

chapter 3: confession

she told me not to step on the cracks- i told her not to fuss and relax. pretty little face stopped me in my tracks, but now she sleeps with one eye open. that's the price she'll pay

—-

You didn't like how Arkham's drugs made you feel. They made your limbs feel heavy, your reflexes slower, and spread a haze over your mind, forcing your thoughts into more mellow places.

Some people hated those sensations- Heather, for example. She'd been busted a couple times for not taking them, which always landed her in the tiny solitary confinement cell. The inmates had nicknamed it "the hole" or the "wack shack", which stuck. You didn't like solitary much, and the drugs' effects on you weren't bad enough to be angry about, so you took your pills and didn't argue.

After breakfast, half of the inmates were shoved off to the rec room, and the other half went to the yard. You were in that first group, Heather in the second. Being separated from people you knew made your skin crawl, so you didn't like this time of day much. It didn't help that the Joker had been put in the rec group with you, either.

You sat at one of the metal tables, lazily shuffling a deck of cards. You watched as the other inmates gave Joker a wide berth, just like every other supervillain that ended up here. So when he strolled up and sat down across from you, nobody argued.

"Y/N L/N," he said as he got comfortable, slowly, like he was trying out how your name felt to say.

"That's me," you said cautiously.

"So why'd I have to hear it from somebody else, hm?" he asked. "We're living together now, Y/N. Shouldn't I know my roommate's name?"

"I wasn't under the impression that you wanted to know."

"You know mine. It's only fair."

You eyed him suspiciously. "I guess. Fine. I'm Y/N L/N, nice to meet you. Is that what you wanted to hear?" You knew you were supposed to be getting on his good side, but he was irritating the shit out of you. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep your snarling sarcasm at bay.

Joker smiled, his metal-capped teeth glinting and sinister under the shit rec room lights. "Be good to me, Y/N, and I'll be good to you." He laughed then, a quiet, weird chuckle that made your skin break out in goosebumps. "Isn't that the deal you want? Your friend back there seemed very worried about you."

"I'll be good to you, and you'll be good to me," you said, dropping his gaze to focus on the cards in your hands. "Then she won't have anything to worry about."

Another smile. "So. How did you end up here?" He leaned forward, his smile turning conspiratorial. "Did you kill somebody? Maybe your mommy? Your daddy?"

You gritted your teeth. "I don't talk about it."

"Come on. Do you hear voices, Y/N? Hm? Is that why they sent you here instead of Blackgate?"

"I'm not gonna talk about it."

Quick as a flash, he grabbed your chin in his long, pale fingers. His smile was gone. "Yes, you are."

"Is this what you call 'being good to me'?" You snapped, recoiling as much as he'd let you (which wasn't much at all).

He laughed, low and dangerous. "It's as good as you're going to get. Unless you want to see how bad I can make this for you, Y/N, in which case, I'd be happy to show you."

You closed your eyes and gripped the cards tight, trying to get yourself together. "No," you said, glancing up at him. Your voice came out weaker than you'd hoped. "I'm sorry. I'll tell you."

"Good." He let go of your chin, which you took as your cue to start talking.

"I did kill my parents. And my aunt. With my parents, I made it quick. But I burned down my aunt's house with her still in it. I waited until my uncle and his son had left, and then I lit the match." You swallowed hard. "The cops found me outside, watching the place burn."

"You liked it," he observed. He looked almost hungry for it, for the terrible details of the things you'd done. You regretted looking at him at all.

"My aunt was a terrible person. I liked watching her get what she deserved."

"What'd she do?"

"She treated my cousin like shit," you said bluntly. "He's younger than me, and my parents were bad enough to me that I knew what to look for. And I knew what prolonged contact with someone like her would do to him. So I nipped it in the bud. Stopped her before she could do any more damage."

"Well, aren't you just a regular vigilante," Joker drawled.

You startled. Usually, when people found out about what you'd done, their horror exceeded any other emotion they felt about it. The way Joker had wanted to hear about it, followed by his lazy acceptance of the truth when it came out, was different from any other reaction you'd gotten.

It gave you some small measure of comfort. Whatever kind of monster you were, Joker would always be worse. There was always further to fall.