Try, Please Try For Me

New Family, New Home

Eskel turns out to be an excellent teacher, which would be great, had Jaskier not turned out to be absolutely shit at learning magic.

He tries, he really does, and Eskel seems to have endless patience, but Jaskier just can't seem to get the hang of it.

"You're doing fine," Eskel tells him every morning, "These things take years to master." But Jaskier knows that he's progressing slower than he should.

Eskel starts him on trying to learn the signs-- since that's his area of expertise. It takes Jaskier two weeks of trying all the signs over and over before he can even manage to cast once. And even then, it's a pitiful Aard that barely moves the dust in the courtyard. So far he can only cast three of the five signs: an Aard that's weaker than a gust of wind, a Quen that Eskel says holds decent strength but barely lasts a minute, and an actually decent Axii. Thus far, Igni and Yrden still elude him.

Axii comes easier than the others. Jaskier suspects it's because the sign is similar enough to glamouring the mind, a skill which he already does subconsciously with his music. But even if he manages to cast that one well by the end of the winter, he's already decided never to use it. Controlling someone like that is wrong, and after knowing what that's like himself, he never wants to do it to another person.

Then there's other types of magic. Eskel isn't an expert on manipulating chaos like a mage, but he knows a great deal still. He teaches Jaskier some simple charms that don't take too much to cast: purifying a container of water, a relaxation charm that helps with sleep (Eskel said he'll be thankful for that one since Geralt gets cranky when tired), mending small items, and other beginner spells that might be useful on the path. Jaskier has a better time with those, but it still takes him a while to pick up new spells.

Since Geralt is the one teaching him combat, and Eskel magic, Lambert has taken it upon himself to teach him "actual important shit," which is how Jaskier finds himself in the eastern tower learning how to make bombs.

"Bombs are good for all kinds of shit," Lambert tells him. "You can use them for traps, fishing, clearing roadblocks, blowing up a prick's market stall after he refused to pay you for a contract-- very useful."

Jaskier eyes the witcher warily as he places all the needed components on the table in front of them. "How do you use them for fishing?"

"I'm glad you asked, young Buttercup. You see, if you encase the bomb in a waterproof container then set it up in a spot with lots of fish, when it explodes all the fish come floating to the surface, and you just march on in and collect them. Then you've got fish for weeks if you salt and dry the ones you don't eat."

"I...well that's efficient, I guess."

Lambert just shrugs. "Beats standing around for hours waiting for the fucking fish to bite." He turns to the items on the table. "Now, let's get started. We'll be making flour bombs to start so you don't blow yourself up-- Geralt will never forgive me if you do-- then we'll work our way up to larger explosives."

Jaskier does his best to copy Lambert step for step as the witcher runs him through the process of making flour bombs. Once they're finished, Lambert marches them up to the eastern battlements and points to the courtyard below with a devilish grin on his face.

"And this," he declares proudly, "is why we make bombs in the eastern tower. You first, Buttercup," Lambert says, handing him a flour bomb.

Jaskier follows his gaze to where Geralt and Eskel are fixing the roof of the goat shed at the base of the tower and his smile widens.

"Please forgive me for this, darling," Jaskier whispers, taking one last look at Geralt. Then he drops the bomb.

It hits their targets with a loud bang, followed by a scream of "agh! --the fuck?!?" Only to be followed by Lambert's bomb seconds after.