I noticed that some time ago I guess. I used to be really self conscious, thought that people would make fun of me and stuff.
The only ones who will care about what you do and who you are are your friends and your family, if not, A) They want to be your friend or something B) the most common: they want gossip.
All this aside, my neighbors (ps- I live in an apartment) are renovating their prOpErtIes and there's more hammer banging and construction noise than I can bear. My head was hurting so bad because of it that I started studying math IN MY VACATION with lofi playing on the background. At least I'll ace my first test when classes start.
My mom is always bringing up the topic of sports, ALL THE TIME. We already discussed this matter before. It's like that one touchy topic that could make you cry if they continue talking about it.
The thing is, I hate sports. I hate them so much. My mom and my crappy doctor (which my friend loves for some reason, I can't see one single nice thing about her) and my therapist and my grandma and my friends and whoever may bring up this topic always say "that's good for you health, you will do it, you need to be more productive, stop staying at home all the time, go out and socialize, you weren't like this when we were kids" the list goes on for quite a while.
My mom is basically just bragging now about how she can force me to do sports I don't want to or hate. Like this Tuesday, me, my mom and my grandma were having dinner together and grandma asked what was I gonna do this year, if anything would change, and my mom brought up the "me doing sports" touchy topic.
"She will do judo and artistic gymnastics!!"
"Do you like them? You've never told me that before."
"...I don't"
Basically that. Gran went on about how if I didn't like it I should stop, while my mom half agreed but made it very clear she wanted me to do another sport if so.
Grandma also said that IF I HATED sports as much as I said and I already knew what gymnastics would be like because I did it before the pandemic and all that, I could just don'tdo them in the first place. My mom disagrees and forces me to do it, and I'd put a forcefield over the fact that I hated sports and would never like them, and the reason I was gonna do them was to make my parents and my doctor happy, make my friends stop annoying and teasing me because I "hate getting out and just play games, in bad weight and need to do more exercise and be more extroverted" and it's honestly really getting to me. Everytime I talk to them they're like "Hey K.!! Anti-social as usual? ☆☆" (obs- the name K. is not my real name or used realistically in any sense, it's just my username.) It's really getting to me and makes me wonder who are my real friends or who is simply just looking for a lab rat to test on.
Anyways I'm traveling to the beach for 4 days starting 4 hours ago lol. Maybe that will help me calm down and rethink maybe all my life decisions that led me up to this.
I feel sorry for you to read this.
Word count - 650 so let it all go and have a cookie ehe... except if you're doing homework because that's important and my teacher yells at me when I don't do it and I don't want the same to you so bye <3 ❤
If the text is kinda confusing, it's because I'm going insane over here because of literal sports and self esteem.
