Forever and always ~ Jude Bellingham x oc

"Things happen faster than fucking Romeo and Juliet"

It takes shorter than i thought to arrive to Jude's apartment. His house is similar size to mine but so much nicer. He's living alone, what helps, i can't imagine how nice it would be to live alone.

The living room is the biggest room. Jude has a big TV, a very big and comfortable looking sofa, and many plants, what i love. That's so impressive.

I sit on the sofa waiting for Jude. He sits next to me with the bag and takes the rubbing alcohol and bandages out. He also has paper. "Is it okay if i clean your wounds first?"

I know it's dangerous to not to, so i agree, but i know it'll hurt, and i'm very afraid of pain. "Can you, uh, maybe take your hoodie off?" Jude asks.

I nod and take it off. I have a long sleeved shirt under. I look at the sleeve and it has ripped badly. The wounds are worse than i thought.

"Don't get me wrong but I'll need you to take that off too", Jude says more quietly. "Don't worry about it, i know it's for the best", I reply and slowly take my shirt off, because it hurts bad. I have only my bra under.

I look at Jude who tries so hard to keep looking at my face. This is so stupid situation that i start laughing. Jude too. "What?" he asks laughing. I shake my head and cover my mouth with my hand.

"Look, I know you have to do this but this is so absurd", I say and smile. He nods. "Let's get this over fast", Jude replies and grabs my arm.

"This may hurt, so just try to stay still", he explains while grabbing a paper with the rubbing alcohol. He gently presses it against my wounds but it stings so bad. I groan because it hurts way more than i thought.

"It's done now, it's done", Jude whispers and smiles. I sigh and smile. Jude wraps the bandage around my arm and ties it. "Thank you so much", I say thankfully.

I put my shirt back on but it's very dirty. Obviously. "Jude can i borrow your shirt? I don't think it's good to wear this anymore", I request. "Of course!" Jude says and walks to his bedroom.

It's freezing, I think stressing makes it feel colder than it really is. I stress about how to behave well. If i fail i may not impress Jude. I can't fail. I have to be the best version of myself.

Jude has a large mirror in the living room. I look at myself, and can't really not feel insecure. I hate not having makeup on, or having too big body. I hate insecurities. Fuck this shit. I'm damn gorgeous. I should not hate or be insecure about myself.

Faster than i thought Jude returns with sweatpants and a hoodie. He gives them to me and sits next to me. "Are you cold?" He asks.

I nod and put the hoodie and the pants on. Jude hugs me with one hand and gently pulls me closer. I get shivers and for some reason feel very stressed. Just for sure i suck my stomach in and try to keep a good position. I'm almost laying on his lap at the moment.

Jude clearly notices my stressing. "Hey Vada, relax", he whispers and slides his hand under my shirt. "Just relax love." I inhale and exhale and then relax.

I have never felt this good. And i doubt i ever will. Did he just call me love? We just met and- and i love him.

I would kiss him if i'd have the courage. Things happen faster than fucking Romeo and Juliet.

"It's late so if you want i can either give you snacks or then help you fall asleep", he whispers calmly. "Can you give me chips please?" I ask.

He opens the bag what he had right next to him and kinda feeds me by giving them to me one by one. I try to eat them without like kissing his hand because that would make this weird. Or would it?

Yeah. I can't make a move yet. I just keep eating them one by one.

"Jude, I'm tired", i say tiredly after many minutes. "You wanna sleep now? Do you need sleepwear?" He asks and gently lifts me up from his lap.

I shake my head. "Thanks, I don't need tho, do you know where i could sleep?" I ask.

"You can either sleep on this sofa or in my bed with me, both are fine by me", Jude replied smiling. I think a while, i definitely want to sleep in the same bed with him.

"Is your bed wide?" I ask. "Not really, we can go to my bedroom if you want", Jude asks and leads me to his small bedroom. The bed is not wide, but wider than average. "I'll sleep with you", I reply and go laying on the bed next to the wall.

"Imma go change so i'll be right back", Jude says and smiles at me. He leaves and leaves me alone here.

I wonder has anyone noticed my disappearance, i don't know. Could be, but maybe just my brother. My sister couldn't give a fuck and she is not home anyways.

My dad is home now, but he's probably too drunk to even remember his own name. And friends? They are talking shit about me. I mean "friends". I don't have any good friends.

But that's good. When anyone notices, my location is on the market, so maybe they will think i died in the shooting.

I can start my life over and live with Jude. That would be amazing. That would be a-

"Hey", Jude says walking in. I turn to look at him and almost gasp when i see him only in sweatpants.

I chuckle quietly and try to hold my smile. "Hey. By the way, what time is it?" I ask and smile when he comes laying next to me. "Uh, it's 3.16am", he replies and smiles.

"Good night", I say smiling. "Goodnight love", he whispers and i close my eyes.

I usually like to sleep facing the wall but now not. I just want to look at him when i wake up. I'm almost asleep when i feel Jude slightly touching my hand.

But he's sleeping. I opened my eyes and see that he's not smiling, i mean almost not at all so i know that. So it must've been an accident.

I don't care. I carefully grab his hand and for my surprise he gently grabs my hand tighter. So he's awake, or almost.

Anyway, i need sleep more than anything. I have to try to get sleep, or even rest. So goodnight me, and most of all, goodnight Jude.