The Romantic Adventures of Joe Hawley and Zubin Sedghi

The Beginning

Once upon a time, there was a guy named Joe Hawley. He lived in a town called Middleton, Wisconsin. This town was located just north of Milwaukee, about halfway between the cities of Green Bay and Madison.

Joe was a nice guy. He was smart, funny, handsome, and good with computers. He also knew how to sing and play the guitar and went by the nickname Mr Hall.  Everyone liked him. Joe graduated high school in 2007 and went on to college, where he studied computer science.

After graduating, he worked at a few different places, including a bank, a restaurant, and finally a software company. After a while, Joe found out he'd be moving back home, so he decided to take a break from work and drive across country, visiting friends and family along the way.

On the last day of his trip, Joe arrived at his parents' house. His father greeted him at the front door.

"Hey dad," said Joe. "How've you been?"

His dad smiled and said, "Good to see ya. What's new with you?"

Joe shrugged and said, "Not much. Just finished up at college, moved back home, and looking for a job."

Joe's dad nodded and said, "Sounds about right. Well, I'll let you get settled in. Maybe we could catch up later tonight."

Joe smiled and said, "That sounds great. Thanks, Dad."

As he was leaving, his dad asked him, "So, what do you plan on doing now?"

Joe hesitated for a moment and said, "Well, I'm not sure. I know I want to try and find a job here in town, but I don't really know if I'll stay for long."

Joe's dad nodded and said, "Alright. Well, I'll let ya know once I hear about any openings at the bank. But for the most part, your mom and I are pretty busy with stuff around the house and the farm, and my job keeps me pretty busy. So, it might be a while before we have anything available."

Joe smiled again and said, "Thanks, Dad. That's good to know."

Joe went inside and began unpacking his car, making room for his things in the spare bedroom. As he was doing this, he noticed a small black box sitting on top of his dresser. Curious, he picked it up and read the label:

"This is a stun gun. You can use it to incapacitate someone without killing them. It will also render someone unconscious. Do not attempt to kill someone with this weapon. If you do so, it will not only cause serious physical injury to the person being attacked, but you may very well be sent to prison for murder.

If you feel threatened, call 911 first. Then, if you still need to use the stun gun, follow these instructions exactly:

1. Make sure the safety is on.

2. Place the tip of the stun gun against the victim's skin and press the button.

3. Do not attempt to move the subject. Wait for them to fall over and lie still.

4. Remove the device from the victim's skin, then press the button again to turn it off.

5. Do not leave the area until you're sure it's safe. The stun gun emits an electrical current that can start fires and cause serious burns.

6. Always keep the stun gun away from children and pets.

7. Store the stun gun in a dry place, such as a drawer or cabinet.

8. Avoid using the stun gun on pregnant women, people with heart conditions, and anyone who has metal implants implanted in their body.

9. Never, ever, use the stun gun on yourself.

10. If possible, store the stun gun in a fireproof safe.

Joe read through all of this. He wasn't sure what to think, but he figured it was better than having nothing.

A short time later, Joe's parents came home.

His mother hugged her son and said, "How did everything go? Did you find a job?"

Joe smiled and said, "I did. I got hired at the local bank."

"Great!" said his mother. "We were starting to worry, since you haven't had anything lined up yet."

Joe's father laughed and said, "Yeah, that was pretty rough. But hey, it didn't seem to matter too much to them. They just needed someone to fill in for a couple months. Once they get more information, hopefully I'll be able to stay on."

Joe smiled and said, "Cool. Glad to hear it."

They chatted for a bit longer and then Joe said goodbye to his parents. Later that night, Joe took some time to relax and watch TV. When he heard a knock on the door, he assumed it must be one of his neighbors.

He opened the door and saw a man standing there with an AK47. It was Zubin Sedghi the bassist.

"Hi Joe, how are you?" said Zubin.

Zubin was dressed in all black, wearing a ski mask, and carrying the large machine gun.

Joe looked at Zubin for a moment, unsure of what to say. Eventually, he said, "What are you doing here?"

Zubin grinned and said, "Well, I hear you have a stun gun. And, I'd like to use it on you."

Joe frowned and said, "Why would you want to do that?"

Zubin said, "Because I'm going to kill you."

Joe stared blankly at Zubin, his mouth hanging open. Finally, he managed to stammer out, "I... uh..."

Zubin leaned forward and put his hand on Joe's chest. "Don't be scared, Joe," he said calmly.

He pushed the muzzle of his rifle into Joe's face and pulled back on the trigger. A loud pop sounded, and a bolt of electricity shot towards Joe.

The shock made Joe double over in pain, but Zubin kept pushing the barrel harder against his face.

Joe cried out and said, "I can't breathe!"

Zubin pressed the gun harder and said, "Shut up! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I've never done this before."

Joe could barely catch his breath. His head was spinning and he felt faint. He tried to speak, but he couldn't make words come out right.

Then, suddenly, he collapsed to the ground.

Zubin let him lay there for a moment, then walked over and set the gun down on a nearby table. He lifted the mask from his head and smiled.

"There we go," he said. "Now, don't be afraid. You're my friend, after all."

Joe struggled to sit up. There was blood dripping from his nose and mouth. He coughed and spat out some of the sputum.

Zubin sat down beside him and handed him a glass of water. Joe sipped it slowly, trying to clear his throat.

After a few minutes, Zubin stood up and said, "Let's take a walk to the end of the block. We'll wait there for your parents to pick us up."

Joe nodded. He knew it was probably best if he stayed on the ground until his parents arrived.