I am 5 years old! I am happy! Happy happy happy happy happy! 6 years old 7 years old! I am happy! But 8 to 9 I never felt happy again now I am sad now I am cold now I don't feel the happy inside of me anymore I'm sad sad sad...I'm never gonna be happy happy happy again...But that's ok! I'm now 12....I'm very very very sad...I could be happy sometimes...But most of the time I am sad sad sad but like I said it will be ok! It may be rough it may be tough but I'm use to it now! So I'm sad sad sad I'm no longer happy happy happy when I was born I thought I would be happy forever turns out that was a lie for almost my whole fucking life! I fucking lied to little sad shitty me...I broke my own fucking promise that can't be recovered I will never be recovered from the trauma I have to deal with...but still I can be happy! But...it's hard for it to happen cause everything that had happened to me...I'm sad sad sad! But!! I used to Be happy happy happy! I know that it won't change...I wanna rip out every happy thing inside me I just wanna be sad I wanna cover my whole damn body with super cute scars! I wanna drown myself....then when I die I will be happy again! Cause!...I won't have to feel cold and scared of anything anymore I will find peace in myself when I die I wanna tell Lia...that I love her! With my whole fucking heart! I know we will see eachother soon! But that will take awhile....but I know it will happen....I'm happy happy happy to sad sad sad...that's ok! That's ok! Cause I know I could be happy and sad! But I prefer sad...and cold....I'm happy happy happy!
