only yours[ᵒⁿ ʰᵒˡᵈ]

chapter 6

"WHY IS HE HERE?" I whisper shout towards my friends, closely observing the male who is standing in the corner on his phone. I frown and he looks up to meet my eyes. I quickly snap away and stare at my now empty plate whilst my friends are whispering to each other about the situation we've caught ourselves in.

"Hey Cilia." I hear just to the right of me and I don't dare to look up, continuing to look at the table. "Don't ignore me." His fingers are gripping my chin and I stop breathing. I'm petrified. He gives me a creepy smile once he sees the fear on face as if he had gotten what he wanted all along.

Samuel stands from his place, grabbing Camerons arm and pushing him away so he would relieve his grip on my face, "Why don't you respect her fucking boundaries as she's clearly uncomfortable." Alyssa encourages me to slide out the booth so I follow her lead and make sure to pick up my stuff whilst Sam and Cameron are arguing silently.

We both make a head to leave, Sam now following us and we quickly exit the cafe and down the sidewalk. Looking behind and he's still following us, my hands shaking and I'm in the very front of my friends so they would be there if anything happens again. "Wait up Cilia, I just want to talk baby!" I shake my head at his useless begging for attention.

"Don't fucking ignore me you slut!" Tears are brimming in my eyes, "You wanted me then and you still want me now, you wanted me to fuck you so badly so I did!" I hear a crack. A crack. I stop myself from walking and dare to turn around only to see Cameron hurled over and Samuel shaking his bloody fist to relieve pain.

I gasp, covering my mouth at the sight and luckily there was no one around to see the current commotion going on. Or so I thought. Alyssa is holding my arm caressing it in reassurance and Sam stands up straight regaining his posture but isn't able to move far when a fist comes flying towards him. My eyes widen, tears now sliding down my cheeks. You may think I'm being a cry baby, but seeing your best friend stand up for you but then him being beaten himself? It's my fault.

"Hey! What's going on over here, yeah?" I turn behind me to see him. Professor wade our saviour. He takes one good look at me then at the fight that's still happening before us and steps in. His sleeves rolled up, his tattooed hands and arms showing with the prominent veins that dare to make themselves worthy and known. "Break it up!"

He grabs Samuels shoulder pulling him away from the boy who was now on the floor. He never stood a chance. Cameron is bleeding from his nose and has a very obvious red mark on his cheek which is sure to bruise. Alyssa is staring with an open jaw at our friend as Professor Wade is stood between them, she walks over to Sam and looks at him concerned but he reassures her that he's fine.

Cameron stands in his place, making a daring move towards me but the arm I was just admiring folds out in-front of his chest to stop the boys movements. He scoffs, "Don't worry Cilia, you'll get fucked by me—" Samuel lunges forward towards him once more but Professor Wade was too quick for him. Samuel is yelling strings of curses towards him, still held back by Wades arm and Aly is trying to calm him down. I'm still frozen in place.

What am I supposed to say?

Cameron spits on the floor just before walking away and the man now drops his arm from holding my friend back. Samuel slides down the wall; blood coming from his busted lip with Alyssa speaking to him, asking the boy why he did it. He doesn't reply. He looks at me, I give him an appreciative smile not being able to muster words out of me. He smiles and nods back at me and I can't help but feel even more guilt than before. It's my fault.

I feel a warmth on my bicep and I look down at it to find a tattooed hand rested upon it. My eyes find the face that belongs to the hand and he frowns at me, somewhat trying to figure out what's going on in my head. I pull my arm out of his hold, "Are you okay, Ms Eros?" I nod, my hands shaking still and my breath picking up. He seems to notice and kneels slightly down to reach my eye level.

"Breathe, you're okay, your friend is okay." I can't hear him. I can hear ringing in my ears as panic floods my veins and I feel another hand on my other arm. "Copy me, okay?" I look at his gorgeous face with my hazy eyes. He's breathing in and out slowly.

I attempt to copy his actions but I'm unable to with all the fear taking over my emotions. Alyssa stands in, pushing my hair behind my ears and traces her cold fingers down my cheek and back up. I focus on the feeling and my panic comes to a rest, I'm letting out now shallow breaths from feeling strangled and stuck in my body. She smiles at me, Professor Wade is in the background  unsure what to do but is taking mental notes on how to help a panic attack.

"Are you okay babe?" Alyssa whispers to me, kissing my forehead with her soft puckered lips and scans my face for any resolving panic. I watch as Wades hand reaches to me, handing me my bag which contained the book he bought for me inside. I nod gratefully at him and he nods back, not showing a smile.

He walks past us to leave but not before he grazes a hand at my waist which makes goosebumps stick up on my body. I turn my head to watch him leave, his muscles flexing through his black blazer which does not make my mind go easy. I trod over to Sam who's halfway with standing up so I hold out a helping hand and he takes its gratefully.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry Sammy it's all my fault." I rant as more tears well up in my eyes as guilt consumes me. He shakes his head.

"Don't. Don't say that Cili, it's not your fault okay?" I shake my head as he tries to set me straight but I refuse to believe his nonsense. Hands sandwich my cheeks and my lips puffer out like a fish. My brows meet in the middle and my eyes fills with confusion as I mumble out words.

"Shut up Cilia, I may have done it for you but it doesn't mean that it's your fault. Don't think that Cili, I did what I had to he was being a dick as per usual!" He kisses my forehead removing his hands from my face and I regain feeling in my cheeks. He smiles at me.

"I'll clean you up, let's go back to the dorm." I mutter, hooking my arm with his as Alyssa walks beside me. I see my car, sitting inside with the two of them as I drive back to the college. My head hurts. It's my fault.

It didn't take us long to get back, Sam is now sat on the toilet whilst I clean up his wounds. Him hissing once I disinfect his busted lip Alyssa fussing Marlene in the bedroom. "Thank you." I whisper with gratitude, he looks up at me with his eyes. Grimacing as I put cold cream on his mouth.

"For what?" I look at him. Is he stupid?

"You know what, standing up for me." He scoffs with a smile.

"You know I'd do anything for you Cilia." The moment between us is cut short as Marlene pounces on his lap, he reaches down the fuss with the cat. "I think your cat is hungry, can I feed her?"

"Yeah but just don't forget her tablets!" He nods walking out the small bathroom, Marlene now happily sat beside his feet as he dishes up her meal. I shut the door, looking at myself in the mirror. In the reflection my cheeks have mascara stained tears which make me look like something from a horror film. I look down with my hands bracing on the sides of the porcelain sink. Sighing, shaking my head I exit the room and fall flat on my stomach on top of my comforter. The smell of home consumes me and I miss it.

My eyelids are heavy, it's only 6:00pm my legs are restless but I ignore them as I close my eyes—my muscles relaxing and the pictures of the night sky portrait in my head.

It's my fault.