Guardian of My Heart

Chapter 11: To You, Fourteen Years Ago

Iruma's POV:

The carriage ride wasn't particularly eventful, the only thing distracting me from my own thoughts and worries being the sights of the netherworld, the sound of hooves pounding against stone as the horses pulled us along, and Ameri giving me warm and comforting backrubs. I couldn't help but start purring as we held our embrace. It was instinctual at this point, and if anything, it only seemed to further encourage her to keep at her current course of action. But eventually the carriage stopped, and looking outside I could see we had arrived. The mansion before us was massive. Not quite as big as the school had been, but it was far larger than Henri's house which itself was already fairly big. Henri looked back at us. "Aside from us three, it's only going to be Lord Sullivan and Opera inside. Narnia has returned to his regular duties at Demon Border Control for now, and Professors Balam and Kalego have returned to their respective homes to finish their own work for the upcoming semester." I gulped, trying to keep my face as neutral as possible. Kalego did mention that he and Opera weren't really on the best terms with each other. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing anymore. At least this way, less demons will be around to witness me have a breakdown. Resigning myself to my fate, I stepped out of the carriage, helping Ameri down as well before turning to Henri, waiting for his instructions.

"Come now, best not to keep our hosts waiting any longer." With that the man started to make his way to the Sullivan manor, Ameri gently grabbing me by the arm and motioning me to follow with her. I felt my body moving on autopilot, knowing that resistance was pointless. Just like you thought it was pointless to resist against your other guardians? Or your captors? You're a fool, and you always will be. There was that voice again, always taunting me, reminding me of every moment I'd rather just forget. But this is different, I'm safe here. I'm going to meet my actual mom and grandpa. They'll protect me. And if they don't? What will you do then? I didn't have an answer to that, so I just forced my eyes shut and willed the voice to silence itself, which thankfully it did. But the words lingered on, and I felt my breathing start to get out of control once again. Ameri must have asked her father to go on ahead to help prepare lunch, because next thing I knew me and her were sitting on a rocking bench in a side garden, with her singing a soft tune and patting my fur. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, I felt myself start to feel grounded in reality once more. Eventually the singing stopped, and Ameri spoke to me. "I know you're incredibly nervous right now Iruma. I would be too if I was in your position. But you can't hide from this forever. You've got to face your fear head on."

I looked up to her, and I knew from her expression that I looked as pathetic as I felt. "But how? How am I supposed to just forget my fear like it means nothing? All my life, my instincts have been honed with fear, using it to help me stay alive. And now, even though I'd love to live without it, the thought of throwing away the one thing that's helped keep me safe up to this point . . . I just can't do it." Ameri gave me a hug as she patted my head and scratched me behind the ears, making them flick back and forth in sync with my tail. "It's not about surrendering your instincts, Iruma, it's about learning that you don't need to suffer in silence on your own. You've carried this burden for so long that it's all you know. But you aren't the only one who's afraid right now. Each and every demon you've encountered has a shred of fear that they keep hidden away with a veil of pride and ambition. And though we strive to stand tall on our own, it's when we choose to unite together that our true strength is revealed. And in the face of all that united strength and ambition, no amount of fear can conquer our hearts." I'm not sure if it was her words or the conviction in which she said them, but Ameri had struck a chord in me, and I found myself looking back on all the new demons I had met recently in a new light. They were all afraid of something, yet despite their fears they were able to rely on their allies and push through that fear. Who could have thought that demons could be so compassionate?