I take a breath and inhale the air around me the summer breeze eases the worries that have been stressing me out lately. Josh is a trunkful of stress, my phones been beeping all day with messages from him, I kinda feel bad I know he'll be expecting me to text back immediately like I always do, but not today .
I walk slowly towards my apartment, Stephanie has been round Paul's house all weekend and it's just been me and my feelings and I absolutely hate it, I desperately need something or someone to take my thoughts of of what's going on in my life. I hate this feeling of obligation I have for Josh, but I can't seem to fall out of the habits I've developed towards him. Constantly having to please him just to feel good about myself, seeking his approval for my every move, looking for his validation in places where I never even find it and feeling like a complete failure when I don't !I cross the road and look at my little apartment in the distance a figure looms around it a tall one. I knew who it was before I even got there, Aren't you going to pick up my calls Josh said as I approached my front door, I was busy I lie, instead of telling him the truth which was; I simply didn't want to talk to him and had nothing to say to him. I put the key into the door and walk inside the house letting Josh in behind me I put the kettle on and start to fix myself a cup of tea, may I have one Josh asks as if I could say no, I take out another mug and place a teabag in his cup. We sit in silence drinking tea .
I wanted to be in his arms holding him like normal couples do but he doesn't want any of that at least I don't think he does. Getting involved with a politicians son was not the plan, I mean I didn't even have a clue when we met he didn't particularly keep it hidden, I did however fail to notice. Look I have to get going he says rising up he walks down the hallway and leaves, no goodbye no thank you I mumble to myself.
I walk up the stairs and head to my room and stair in the mirror. I'm a model a darn good one, a beautiful one as well but he makes me doubt myself sometimes correction all the time, I feel like I should be better than this I deserve more, I head to bed after washing my face and fall asleep. I wake up to the sound of Stephanie on her phone, I loved her voice she was so upbeat all the time so free with everything. Hey girl she calls out barging into my room what are you doing in bed it's 10 in the evening she laughs joining me under the sheets, I was tired I complain. Yeah, Yeah she laughs well we're going out wanna come, where I ask, me Paul and Karl she says with a broad smile.Wait your going out with both Karl and Paul that's not the best idea don't you think I ask? Not at all but life is for living right, I don't know I think I might just stick to staying at home come on you've slept long enough you can't possibly be tired still.
She pulled me out the sheets and headed over to my wardrobe, what about this she says pulling out a silk spaghetti strapped dress no too exposing Josh won't like it I groan, it's a club what do expect people to be wearing well I'm not people okay, I'm me !
I head downstairs to fix myself a coffee I was drained emotionally in every possible way I just wanted to sleep forever I was so tired from I don't even know what. My phone pinged and I picked it up "hey babes can you make something nice I'm staying the night", one thing I hated is he never asked if he could stay he simply stated, as if the house belonged to him, this club was definitely my excuse to avoid him. I head upstairs and throw on the dress Stephanie picked out for me it was cute just not my style but who cares I plan to sit in a corner on my phone and do nothing so everything will be fine.We walked into the club it was jam packed with all types of people we headed straight for the lounge I headed for a seat in the corner and tried my best to relax, I wasn't much of a drinker I'd rather prefer wine but a shot wouldn't hurt I thought to myself as the waiter offered me one.
My mind drifted to my business the one I put aside a week ago, I'm so stupid I think to myself, I shouldn't have let Josh sway me like that, I can't keep letting him control me I sigh. I look towards the direction of Stephanie and her boyfriend and how beautiful their relationship seemed I desperately wanted that, was it even right that I yearned for something real when I was in one I'm pretty sure that could be classified as cheating.
How many girls did Josh look at I wonder, scanning the crowd for the type of girls that I knew drew his attention,
YOU ARE READING
Where the Nice Guys Roam.
Roman pour AdolescentsLena is used to guys treating her like trash, not giving a damn about her, she's used to people pleasing so she can feel worthy. But she's tired of little boys who treat her like a girl instead of a women, of being emotionally abused, but can she s...