Nero of the North

Call of the Void

It took me a couple of seconds to understand what I was seeing.

I was welcomed by the blue and gray walls. The off-white ceiling of my bedroom, my computer, a big window with actual glass, instead of just some cloth used to cover it when it gets colder. The soft feeling of a duvet and a mattress with foam, instead of straw, pushing on my skin in a comforting manner, like a mother telling her child it was all just a bad dream.

I was home. Or maybe it was all a dream? I took a deep breath.

It felt real and perfect, the house was silent, most likely empty, and the annoying barking of dogs outside felt almost better than the roman sounds of quiet mornings. The air was pretty cold, which usually discouraged me, but after a month spent in Rome I welcomed that too. Actually, was that all just a dream? Or maybe I've learned my lesson and like in some movie, finally got back to the real world, to continue my life as a better man.

I pulled down the duvet and stepped out of the bed. "I miss the muscles," I sighed. In my dream I was still considered a stick by Roman standards, but at least I gained a tiny bit of mass as compared to my real world persona. The almost white skin was also not something I was glad to have back, but the tears streaking down my cheeks meant that it didn't matter.

The cold floor under my feet made me happy, no longer would I have to worry about where I step. But all of that was just details compared to the feeling of relief that filled me. The feeling that everything will be finally okay. I could see my family and friends once more.

I wiped my tears and stood up, realizing that I was dressed up in jeans and a shirt. "I must have fallen asleep in my clothes," I figured, stretching a bit in accompaniment of a very loud cracking sound. I looked out the window.

The weather seemed perfect, with the golden glow of a morning sun peeking from behind a cover of clouds, like a giant spotlight pointed straight at my room. A perfect morning, the kind that makes you forget all the nightmares. "Nightmares?"

I looked at my hands, rubbing them together, to check how real they are. "Was that a nightmare?" I directed my steps towards the main door to the house while recalling the faces of who I considered a family for the past month. Rufus, that gentle giant who was always finding out ways to help someone, but who never let anyone step on him or anyone else. He knew exactly how to behave to gain friends, and he used that to his and our advantage. It was him who got me, a nobody without a past (that anyone would believe), a job.

Then there was Lucia, a quiet woman who I didn't get to know that much because of her way of living. She spent her days working as a seamstress, while also tending to the house and a bunch of animals that they kept. Any spare time she had, she liked to spend in Rufus's presence, smiling only when near him, and when she thought that no one was looking. She seemed to like me but I never could see through her, she didn't let her true feelings show. Only one night I could see her crying, sitting in the window, looking out at the river, not even visible from our home.

I asked Caius about that. He also got sad but explained to me that he used to have a brother, who died in that very river when he was still just a child. She never got back to being her cheerful self.

"Caius" I whispered to myself, with my hand on the exit door handle.

That man taught me a lot of things. Even though we were the same age, he always seemed a bit more mature, and despite that, never distant. He treated me like a friend from the very beginning, always offering a helping hand. He seemed to like me and I... "I liked him too". I felt myself blushing.

"I can't believe that's it." I closed my eyes, feeling conflicting emotions.

On one hand, I was finally home, but on the other, Rome also felt somewhat.. right. Even though I spent barely any time there at all, I got used to it and that way of life. But what's the lesson that this dream or magical experience was supposed to teach me? What was the point of me being there in the first place? "Maybe there was no point, just the universe playing a trick on me.