Once Upon A Time | 김태형

실연 • Loss of Love

The young Prince sat there motionless in his big office, thinking about all the painful things that had happened to him recently.

In his whole life, he never felt this type of pain. To fall deeply in love, give this person your everything, plan out your future with her even though you knew how risky it was and then be betrayed by her and watching her marry your own brother, was the worst experience of his life.

Was she ever even in love with him in the first place?

No, she wasn't and he's certain in that. She used him and when she found out that Taehyung had interest in her as well, she married him instead because as the oldest son, he had more power than his younger brothers.

He knew that he was only a tool for her to reach her goals and attain more power, until she found someone even more powerful than him.

He laughed bitterly as he realized how easily he had been fooled.
How could he have let himself be drawn into this evil game she played? How could he let himself be used like that and then thrown away when she found someone better?

The young man sighed and got up from the chair, heading over to the old wooden shelf where he kept his collection of exquisite alcoholic drinks.

He grabbed whatever was nearest to him and poured himself a glass.

But the more time passed, the more deeply he plunged into his dark thoughts. Like in a trance, he relived all of his passionate moments with the girl he loved more than anything, inside his head.

He couldn't stop thinking about her, happy moments together and then the next second he saw her vividly in his mind marrying his brother. The thoughts kept racing through his mind until he couldn't stand the pain any longer.

He smashed the glass across his room and let it shatter into tiny pieces. He watched it break, just as he had been broken when he heard the news about his lover betraying him.

With another movement, he smashed all glasses from the shelf until his hand started bleeding.

He watched his hand turning red as he slowly sank down on the floor.

He was bleeding too much.

He took a napkin out of his jacket and bound his hand tight to stem the heavy blood flow.

Even in this moment of total chaos, he thought of her.

It was her, he would reach for in a moment of crisis.

He wanted her. No, he needed her.

He thought about talking to her, maybe it wasn't too late to fix things but even as he had this thought, he knew that it was hopeless and the damage was done.

It was too late, she was out of reach, she was gone and he lost her.

He wanted to cry, but couldn't. No tears came out of his eyes. He was blocked up inside, something died inside him the day she left him.

"Fuck," he murmured to myself, "fuck."

The only sound he could hear was the clock ticking and water droplets dropping to the ground from the glasses he smattered.

It seemed way too loud somehow.

He tried to focus on it to calm down his spinning thoughts: tick, tick, tick— drop, drop, drop. But the voices in his head grew louder and wouldn't be silenced.

She was bound to be unfaithful, he thought.

It was inevitable. You couldn't stop someone to be loyal when they had no intentions to be loyal.

He was never good enough for her, he thought. And he could never be as good as his brother Taehyung. He was useless, worthless, he was nothing.

How could he think that someone would fall for her when Taehyung not only had more power but he also looked better?

She was bound to get bored of him and find someone better.

It went on and on, one horrible thought after another punching him.

How little he knew her.

The fact that she married his brother  demonstrated he had been in love with a stranger.

Now he saw the truth. She was pathetic, a cheating liar.

This whole tale of them that he had built up, their hopes and dreams, their plans for the future; a life that had seemed so secure, so sturdy, now collapsed.

He had to get out. He couldn't breathe in there. He needed some air.

He left the palace. He walked through the empty streets, walking fast, going nowhere.

In his mind he kept going back over their relationship, scene by scene, remembering it, analyzing it, looking for clues.

But all he could remember were small acts of kindness, affectionate notes she'd leave for him in unexpected places, moments of sweetness and genuine love.

How was this possible? Was this all really just acting the whole time?

He couldn't forget about her. How could he? Without her, he returned to that empty existence state in this palace he had endured before.

Without her, this dark palace seemed like a place he could somehow endure. She brought the only thing that lacked the most in this palace. She brought love into it.

He would never meet anyone like her again, never have that same connection or experience that depth of feeling for another human being.

She was the love of his life.
And even though she had betrayed him, he still loved her.

He felt exhausted, he felt like he aged 50 years in the past few months.

He made a decision, there and then.

Living a life in where he would have to see y/n loving someone else would be a life, where he let his heart get broken every day.

He simply didn't wanted to live like that. No matter what anyone said.

He knew he couldn't change the past but he was determined that he could change the future.

Y/n and him were happy before; they could be again. One day, maybe she might confess it all to him, tell him about her story with Taehyung, and he would be ready to forgive her.

They would work through this.

He wouldn't blame her. He would pretend it had never happened. Somehow, he would forget.

He would bury it.

He refused to give in to this; even on the edge of losing his mind, he refused to break down and fall apart.

⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆

Author's Note

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