"And you think of roses and daises.
I think of passion and fire like Hades."
Love is an emotion that many can't grasp but the few who are able to refuse to let it go. How much of a good thing is too much? How dangerous can love be when you love pass...
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"We're no good for each other Sunday, why is it so hard for you to see that." I say with watery eyes as I stand on the other side of the balcony. "I love you Novi. What are you talking about?" He looked at me hard and I knew I was breaking his heart. Hell I was breaking my own but Sunday wasn't ready.
"I don't think we are right for each other." He looked stunned. I placed my hand over my heart and clenched my shirt. I swallowed a sob. "At least not right now." I finish. He scoffed. "What the fuck are you getting at November?" He asked hard. A chill ran down my spine at his assertion but I couldn't let that swindle me. I shook my head. "I was damn near sold Sunday." I said in disgust. These days I could barely look myself in the mirror. I saw his soul die a little from that statement but I was terrified yet, I wanted to hear him say don't go. I was silently looking for the smallest reason to stay but I knew I would barely survive in that world. I wasn't made from it. I was safe and sheltered.
"I would never purposely put you in danger Novi." I looked into his stormy Hazel eyes. Those same eyes that held the key to my soul. "No one will ever get to you again as long as there is breath in me. I will set the entire world on fire before anyone gets my piccolo girasole. (Little Sunflower)" He said as he took a step towards me. Hearing that nickname alone sent my heart into orbit. I knew I needed to step away.
"That." I said as I motioned my hand towards him as my sweater slid farther down my arms. "What? What else can you say Novi. You're breaking my cuore." He wanted to reach for me. I could see his fingers clenching. His warm toned veiny hand turning red at the knuckles the more he squeezed his fist. He was fighting so hard to remain calm out of fear for what he knows I'm saying. I could sense everything about him. Sunday and I's soul were so in tune with one another, that my body was always hyper aware of him. He was mine and I was his but I was terrified. We're not healthy.
"That's toxic love Sunshine. I love the man you are and everything I know you are and will become only to watch you destroy yourself for the sake of love." I answer. It was a dumb reason and he knew it. He was calling my bluff and was slowly winning. "Tesoro! Gesù Cristo!" He yells frustratedly. His aggression was making me wet. "You're killing me November." He said heavily. His aura and body language all said just that. He had given me his sacred dark sweet heart and here I was burying it in a 6 foot grave. Along with my own. "You shouldn't have to do all of that for love Sunday." I answered. "If I can't do it for the woman I love! Then who am I to do it for huh? Answer me that!" For the first time in this entire relationship, he has managed to silence me.
