Today was a day. I talked with Chris all day about everything ever. I didn't accomplish anything but I did write a little more of chapter one. I keep thinking about an old free write from fifth grade where the teacher liked that I wrote 'fun in the sun' and then 'fun on the sun'.
I want to dream tonight. I want to be in a story about Grav and Dreen. I want to be that free spirit I created for my book. She has everything that I have ever wanted except lots of friends. Tooah, meaning water. Water symbolizes life. Tooah is life my life. I want to be like her. I created her in the image of how I want to be. She climbs in a forest of her own. She has no cares. She is beautiful and loved and her music is beautiful. She is evil in a beautiful way. She is always in a calm state of being. She is her own. She cares for natural things in the world. She is free from a single home. I have wanted so much to be free for as long I have been kept here. So long I have desired to be my own. To be free. To go where I please. To not be plagued by work.
I can't live like this around so many people all the time. They tell me I can have friends over but my friend is the forest and it will not come to me. I want to be inspired by the woods. To collect beautiful things there and use them to create decorations for my own self expression. I want to use my time to do this. Not school work. Not the evil of society. Not the evil inside me trying to escape. I want to live but no one will let me. Let me out. Let me go. I need to get out but they hold me back. They keep me from finding who I truly am. I cannot stay. They don't understand. Why can't they? Why was I placed here? My spirit longs freedom but has won a lifetime of cages.
I should write an autobiography about my self discovery. It would be very exciting if I kept writing like I was writing above. Or I should take all my free writes and each one could be a chapter. That would be cool. Imagine. No one has ever done that before. No one has written out the Contents of their brain for the world like this. Maybe it will succeed. It's cool that if I did someone could be reading this and laughing to themselves about how I actually went through with this crazy idea. Hi everyone!
The funny thing about this is I can write anything. But back to my insanity.
"Mr. M, how are you?"
"But I am a girl brain and there is not a single m in my name."
Currents. The flow. The wind waves. Energy waves all of it; the things people enjoy most are made of energy created by energy. So then people must love everything the most. The world is just energy but sadly I can't put my hand through the wall made of energy. Darn.
Today is Sunday it was after all sunny and really just plain hot. I'm hot too but mainly the weather.
My insanity is the only obstacle when it comes to trying to get a guy to love me but it is an easy obstacle to overcome because some people mistake it for cute-fun-to-be-around-ness. Sometimes I forget I'm totally messed up. Maybe that's why you will all love reading this.
Should I get a pixie cut? I don't know. That's the other thing I can't make decisions. Like if I should act cute, evil, or demanding in front of people... or all of them for that matter. That is why I will become the dictator of the world. My campaign starts when I turn eighteen. Only four more years to travel. That reminds me that we are constantly time traveling. Time traveling: moving through time. Isn't time always passing and we pass time too. We are all time travelers. Well it's almost May 18th so I better rest.
