I like to think about all you out there on the other side of the pages like my therapists. We all know I need them. I think my stupid depression is coming back since I re-discovered that I am trapped. I told my friend about it today and he told me that so many people would love to be in my shoes and to stop complaining. It kind of hurt. He doesn't even know me enough to say something like that respectfully. After his comment everything I said after that would just seem like I was being mean. Even saying nothing would be mean. Well, there goes that friend.
I want to get my ears pierced but I'm really scared of needles and people putting metal through my skin. But I want two littles holes in my skin one for each ear. My new life goal is during the summer to go for a hike every other day in the woods. Off the trail. To climb trees and boulders. This summer I really want to show everyone the real me and anyone who can't deal with it will no longer be my friend (probably my family oops...). It's like going through an unfollowing spree on instagram. Instagram is full of ghosts... I like it.
I really like the font Verdana. I really like making my own language. And a culture to go along with it. You know what I will be? That girl Tooah. I created her because she is my inner self.
The wind is old yet wild.
It encompasses my soul.
Sends the dark green of my mind to the forest.
The trees it nourishes with its peace.
They speak together in balance and in harmony.
My mind is still missing.
I am not at harmony.
Peace will not come for me.
My aura has spirited away.
Still my physical body cannot follow.
I wish to meet my soul again.
Still I am a hostage.
A reminder that freedom is not the driving force of any nation.
That independence was not achieved where it was most wanted.
That where I am my heart may not be.
Poems are refreshing. This one is my sad truth. I pledge from now on to always follow my heart. To not give in to society. To make it so they can't keep me here to die. I would rather die trying. Safety is not my comfort zone. Many will say I am overreacting but they are just denying what they dream of in their hearts. I will live today and the next how I want to live them. Right now I want to live by regaining my strength for the morning. Good-bye.
