Falling For You [Bokuaka]

Chapter 11: Reason

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SUMMARY: "This," Bokuto says urgently, holding the paper out with a trembling hand. "This is your reason."

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Bokuto hears the door close behind him. He takes a few steps, looking down at his feet as he walks. He notices the paper in his hand and stares down at it, just now remembering it is there. He has crumpled it slightly during the encounter and he loosens his grip so as not to damage it more.

Sachi.

Bokuto sucks in a breath as realization dawns on him.

How can he possibly tell her that Akaashi is leaving town? How can he possibly break her sweet, tender heart like that? How can he possibly look into her big, innocent eyes and tell her Akaashi is not coming back. Ever.

He can't.

Give me a reason.

The words echo in his brain.

Unbidden, the image flashes in his mind – Sachi's tiny body, heaving with sobs when Akaashi wasn't at the bookstore.

Give me a reason.

He can't do that to her. He wouldn't have the will, the courage.

Give me a reason.

If not for himself, then for his daughter. He always promised to do what was best for her. Well Akaashi is best for her, for both of them.

Give me a reason.

Bokuto whirls around and moves back toward the closed door, his heart suddenly pumping furiously in his chest.

He raises his hand to knock but before his knuckles connect with the wood, the door swings open. Akaashi looks surprised to see him standing right there and Bo realizes he must have been intending to come after him. A tiny wisp of hope swirls in his gut.

"This," Bokuto says urgently, holding the paper out with a trembling hand. "This is your reason."

"What...?" Akaashi asks, looking down. He looks back at Bokuto, questioning, but then shifts his eyes back to the paper in Bokuto's hand. He reaches out. They both notice that Akaashi's hand is shaking as well.

Akaashi carefully unfolds the page and stares down at the picture. Bokuto hears him stifle a small gasp. Then Akaashi's finger is softly tracing over the image of himself next to the small figure representing Sachi herself. He studies the image for a long moment, then looks up. Big, fat tears well in his eyes.

Bokuto whispers, "Please don't leave us, Keiji. Sachi misses you. She needs you. She... she loves you. And I do too."

Akaashi seems unable to speak at first, and when he does, his voice is hoarse. "What about her mother?"

"She's gone. That's what I came to tell you. I know the job is a great opportunity, but Sachi needs you, Keiji. She's been miserable without you and..."

"Ko, stop," Akaashi whispers, and raises a finger to press softly against Bo's lips. "I don't care about the job."

"Of course you do, and I don't want to give it up, but maybe we can work something out. So you can be with us too. Because the last two weeks have been the worst in my life and I don't think..." Bokuto pauses, stifling a sob that threatens to escape. "I don't think I can live without you, Keiji. And Sachi can't either. So please, please be part of our family again."

"Kotaro," Akaashi says again, closing the distance between them. "I don't care about the job, I swear. I just want you and Sachi. I just want you, I promise."