A males fate in the beast world

betrayed

///

I ran without a destination, giving free rein to my instincts. The landscapes kept rolling past. 'Keep running!', i told myself or otherwise i would collaps and maybe never stand up again. 'The female... how could that happen? I failed. I completely failed her. She likely is ... NO!' I increased my speed further. 'Dont think. Just run.'

Betrayal of the mind from The Raven Age

The poison rushed through my blood vessels and unfolded its full potential. My skin felt as if it would fall of any moment and the flesh burned like a fire was lit inside me. My body was taken over completely by the scorpion poison until i was only functioning. It blurred my vision but i kept running as if being chased.

...

'I don't know how long i have been running. I lost track of time. My muscles ache and my breath goes rapid. This faint scent... this so familiar scent. Suddenly i am surrounded by it. The cave. Where is the female?' I roared.

'Did she finally left me. I thought i found a female that could accepted me after searching for so long. Accepted me like i am.'

'... but how could someone like me hope for a mate. I am damaged! ' Along this thought i roared again and scratched the stone wall. It caused a horrible sound. 'How fitting.'

I started to pace around in the cave. The urge to scream rises but i suppressed it and scratched the wall again.

'I wish i could be so blind and belief that i had a chance. But i know that the moment we set foot into the beast city, she would be surrounded by males. Lots of undamaged males fighting for her attention. A damaged one, like me, would be discarded for a better male and quickly forgotten.'

The next scratch appeared on the wall. 'Breath.', i told myself. 'You gone be alright. Just need to find back to my old self. I could live without her before.'

'But do i want to live without her? I got used to this small gestures from her, that warmed my cold heart. She shared her food, sleeped next to me, the way she cared for me, decided to continue the journey with me and not a certain bear. I hoped she likes me at least a tiny bit...seems like i interpreted to much into this. She left me and now i need to forget her. '

'Yet i could never forget her eyes. Her sparkling eyes as i made her a simple stone pot. This deep blue eyes like the ocean, where you could lose yourself while looking into them.'

'Somehow i am gone be alright. The female is better off without me anyway. It was the right decision to part ways. If i am honest with myself, i knew i would never get to be her mate.'

'I can't betray myself!' My claws burried themself deep inside the stone.

'It is just that without realising she broke down my inner walls, piece by piece. They build up over years and now they are crumbling so easily. If my heart keeps beats so strong and fast for her, the walls will soon collaps. '

'I need to keep my feelings in check!' And the wall got another scratch.

'But just remembering her smile like the warm morning sun, which brought light to my dark life. I feel like i am losing myself. I knew it better and still unwitting fell for her. Without her everything is black again.'

'And now she is likely...She can't be dead! I hope that somehow the female is still alive. '

'She was supposed to live a peaceful life. Have mates caring for her and her offspring. The female with the kindest and most caring attitude i ever meet... '

'Did my neglectance...'

'My body is already in such a devasting state, her pain must be unbearable. The female must suffers because she trusted me. It is my fault that she likely... my chest hurts. '