A males fate in the beast world

Decisions

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I woke up with a head-splitting headache in my beastman form. Groaning duo to pain, i rolled myself on the back while spreading out my limps and looked at the cave ceiling. 'So i was really here.' 

As i closed my eyes again, i started to remember the attack. 'Why am i still alive?' I signed at myself and covered my still closed eyes with my hands. Instantly the smell of blood rose into my nose, making the memory livelier.

After lifting my hands up in the air, i slowly opened my eyes and stared at the dried blood at my fingertips. With my arms in the air, i turned my head and examined the bloody lines all over the cave wall.

'What have i done?' Letting my armes fall powerless to my side, i continued to look at the wall.

...

I don't know how much time passed, until i resurfaced from staring a hole into the wall. I am not able to recall my poison induced thoughts, but i know that i fell for the female. 'Betrayed by myself!', i laughed bitter.

'Even though i tried so hard... in the end life screw me over once more. I don't even know if she is alive. Did the hawk managed to bring her to Harvey? Or did she already died on the way there? Could a female with such severe wounds even be saved?'

Slowly i sat up and winced as my headache announced its comeback. There are still remnants of the poison left in my body, causing a subtle pain during even the smallest moves. 

'Nonetheless a decision is necessary. Do i go and scearch for the female or should i try and carry on with my purpose free life?'

'No! I already failed her so miserable, so at least i need to look for her and find out if she is alive. Maybe, just maybe a miracle happend and i can still keep my promise to her. I am aware that even if she is alive, she definitively never wants to see me again. The female must despice me. Completely understandable.'

My heart ached because of this thought, but there was nothing i could do. No chance to turn back time and wipe the slate clean. -  Life really is not fair.

I slaped my palms against my cheeks like i had seen her do it. It really helped to focus. "Alright." Judging from my thirst three or four days passed, so first i needed to hunt to get my strenght back and afterwards i will visit Harvey. Hopefully she made it there and he was able to help.

///

Meanwhile in camel hump

After a few hours Harvey applied the paste again on her shoulder wound and remade the wet furs to control her temperature as well. Having finished he transformed into a leopard and lay down on the floor next to his bed.

Getting the first rest after the hawk brought the female, he tried to organize his thoughts.

'Assuming that the hawk did not lied to me, she traveled with Winston. Did he pick up a female in need again or did he found himself a female this time?'

'It is just that when i washed her to put on some new clean clothes, i did not see a mating mark. I mean not a single one. The only indication for a mate was a necklack with a wolfs tooth.'

'Maybe she did not have her first estrus yet. I first estimating that she is around 18 years old, but likely she is younger. If so this female should still be with her mothers family. Adding to this fact i have never even once in my life seen a malnourished female. Males yes, but a female... Where did Winston found her? She is a strange female and her being alive right now is a mystery for itself.'

Hoping that the still unconscious female was stabil and with now even more questions, he closed his eyes to get at least a few hours of sleep.

...