Only For You

Chapter 9

"Maybe I should get hurt more often....p'rhaps then you'd notice me..."

Merlin's voice echoes repeatedly in Arthur's head as he stares down at the frail, sleeping body in his arms. Arthur's lips part in confusion. What had Merlin meant by that? 'Perhaps then you'd notice me...' Arthur frowns, although deep down, he knows exactly what Merlin had meant.

Arthur chews on his lip, gazing at the flickering flames of the fire. Now, alone with his thoughts, the Prince had to come to terms with his feelings. For months now, he'd noticed himself feeling different around Merlin. Whenever Merlin would come to wake him in the mornings, although outwardly he grumbled about it, inwardly it made him happy to see his servant's stupid face grinning down at him every morning. He'd noticed himself staring at Merlin for longer than usual, watching the way his fingers deftly arranged Arthur's armour or folded his clothes. He was mesmerized by the dark locks of hair that always seemed to frame the pale face perfectly. He longed to run his fingers through Merlin's hair, touch his sharp cheekbones. He always got butterflies in his stomach whenever Merlin was near.

And aside from the lighter things, Arthur knew he also felt a deeper affection for Merlin. He knew without hesitation that he would throw himself in front of a blade for Merlin. That he would do nearly anything to assure his wellbeing.

If that wasn't love...what was?

Arthur feels his stomach do a nervous flip. I'm in love with Merlin. It scares him to think in his mind. To be truthful, Arthur had never really thought he'd actually fall in love...much less with a man.......much less with a servant.

The Prince looks down at Merlin lying in his arms. So broken, so helpless....

He slowly raises a hand to Merlin's cheek, cupping the smooth skin and running his thumb along Merlin's cheekbone, memorizing how it felt beneath his fingers. His hand shifts to Merlin's hair, his fingers running through the dark locks, stroking it back from Merlin's forehead.

While Merlin sleeps, Arthur shifts a bit and continues to wipe the blood off the side of Merlin's face and neck. Concern roots deep in his stomach, and he knows he'll have to find help for Merlin come daylight. But where would he go? Surely he could not go back to Camelot; although Gaius would help, Uther would find out and order Merlin to be imprisoned again...or worse.

The thought made Arthur's blood boil. No, he'd have to think of something else. Though what, he didn't know.

A few hours pass in like manner; Arthur cradling Merlin in his arms while Merlin slept. Arthur found himself amazed at how he could do nothing more than gaze down at his servant's sleeping face, and yet never grow tired or bored. He was content simply to hold Merlin.

A small, sleepy noise from Merlin gets Arthur's attention after hours of silence. Merlin shifts slightly, a crinkle of pain creasing his forehead as his movement jars one of his injuries. His eyes flutter open, and at first all he sees is the very close textile pattern of Arthur's shirt. He turns his head slightly and his gaze focuses on Arthur above him.

Arthur smiles weakly, noting how his heartbeat seems to quicken a bit when those gorgeous blue eyes meet his. "Sleep well, Merlin?" He asks, though immediately regrets it. What a stupid question. He inwardly curses himself.

Merlin shakes his head slowly and groggily. "No," he mumbles, his voice thick. "Everything hurts..."

Arthur frowns in sympathy. "I know..." Without thinking, he continues running his fingers through Merlin's silky hair.

A bit of colour rises to Merlin's cheeks, but he says nothing. He didn't want it to stop, it felt nice. His eyes close slightly. "'m thirsty....have you got any water?" He asks.

Arthur quickly reaches to grab his water pouch. "Here." He holds it to Merlin's lips while his servant drinks from it.

"Thank you..." Merlin reaches to wipe his mouth with his sleeve, momentarily having forgotten that both of his wrists were fractured. He yelps in pain, wincing.

Arthur flinches, as if Merlin's pain is his own. "I've got it." Arthur uses his thumb to brush away the water from Merlin's lips. Once the water is gone, though, his thumb lingers just at the corner of Merlin's mouth, as if waiting for Merlin to tell him to move it. But Merlin doesn't. All he does is gaze up at Arthur with those soft blue eyes...