Three Day Cafe

Episode 4. You're All Illiterate

The present day.

"So, yeah, that's what happened." Razel slumped forwards in her stool and plopped her head on the black counter. She had somehow gone through three beer bottles in her retelling and was now feeling completely hammered.

"This last month was wild. In that time we were able to piece together the details. Putting it plainly, we're cursed to be transported with this cafe to a completely random place every three days. We could end up on another planet, in a different universe, or maybe even another dimension. I guess the only criteria is the location is at least barely habitable by living beings."

Razel absentmindedly tilted her third orange beer bottle and stared at her sideways reflection in the glass. "It means we can't travel widely, never develop close relationships with those we meet, and don't have a permanent place to call home. We can't visit people we want to. We're also stuck with each other. Even if we each try to run away as far as we can from the cafe, after three days—poof, we're all inside together again. One time we tried going home after teleporting to a godd*** church full of militant nuns. Didn't work.

We don't know how to break the curse because it was done by a f***ing god called Aesir or something. Talk about a weird punishment, huh?"

"I...I imagine so." Layla was speechless. She didn't even know how to react to this tale of woe. She had a receipt ready, but didn't have the heart to present it to the mightily depressed-looking off-worlder.

"Hey, Razel," Nathan spoke to the cat woman in a garbled voice. He was drunk. Layla had only filled his wine glass twice but apparently that had been enough. "How'd you get those cat ears and your tail anyways? Some kinda lab experiment? You wanna tell us?"

Razel's eyes flashed with a dark rage. She pulled her knife from her belt and stabbed it in front of Nathan. "You wanna get your face torn off?" she hissed in a very cat-like fashion.

"Okay, noted," Nathan mumbled glumly. He put an arm around Oni, who was chugging a fifth beer and no worse for wear. She even had enough sense to still have Nathan's hat on.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah." DiMaggio was also drunk. He hiccuped loudly and nursed his fourth brown beer. "Oh, Rosalia, sweet Rosalia, please don't leave me. I'm a poor man but I do love you so. Even in the afterlife, I will cherish you and cook for you, forever and ever. I will be reminded of your gentle presence and sweet hands every time I bake even a small piece of bread..." He began to mutter in Italian. "Amore mio...amore..."

"D***," Nathan muttered. "That's some dedication. She your wife?"

DiMaggio sighed. "Oh, Rosalia...I wish I could see your pretty face, one last time...."

"Bet she's dead," Nathan grumbled with dour pessimism.

Oni wasn't sure what was going on with the other three self-paid cafe employees, but she was bright enough to know they were in a bad mood and that she should help somehow.

"Oni will pay!" she told the bartender brightly. "Oni needs to know about a nearby hotel!"

"Sure." Layla handed her the receipt. "Why do you cover your face, Oni? I'm just curious. Are you afraid people will see you?"

"Oni...Oni is ugly!" Oni blubbered, trying not to blow her cover.

"Don't be silly." Layla laughed, a sound like tinkling chimes. "I bet you're very pretty. You must care a lot for these three, yes? In Sirex, there is a saying: The bee working hard for the hive is the most beautiful. Roughly translated, of course. I myself am from Twill, but Sirex is like my second home now. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I understand a little about feeling lost in new lands."