𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍

Chapter 5

RUE'S POV

I place my phone down and start to clean my room. It was always extremely clean but I couldn't help but let my nerves loose by finding the smallest crumbs on the floor or strands of my hair and removing them immediately.

Silas hadn't been to my house before. He's only ever seen the outside of it whenever he walked me home but that was it. Instead, I was always at his house. I met his mother and she was a lovely woman. Lydia had the same eyes as he and the same lips and dimples.

It made me think about my mother. She died when I was six. Some kind of accident revolving around gun violence. I have no memory of her and my father never talks about her. He refuses to talk about it.

Now, my father is always gone. There is not a worse thing than seeing your father everyday, watching tv, eating but not being there. He's mentally absent. It's as if he died along with my mother.

I've never gotten an "I love you" from him or an "I'm proud of you". I don't have wise advice he's told me, in fact he was never there to help me when I struggled. He gets up at 5am and leaves for work, comes back home at 6pm and locks himself away. To me he's a stranger. I can go days without talking to him. Months is the longest we've gone.

But Lydia made me feel welcome. She made me feel appreciated and valued, made me feel at home. I will forever be grateful to Lydia for that.

And for raising such a good man like Silas.

I hear the doorbell ring and jump off my bed like a cat, running to the door. I stop before opening it and pat my hair, making sure it doesn't look messy. God, since when did I start caring about my own looks?

I take a deep breath and open the door. Silas stands outside, with his usual goofy grin. "Hi." He says, stepping into my home. "Hey." I don't know why but I feel my face get warm.

I can only hope that I'm not blushing.

My eyes wander down to his arms. He had boxes of candy and cookies. "I brought snacks!"

I grab one white box and stare at it amused. "Sees Candy? Shit man, you're rich." My mouth is watering already. I didn't like chocolate at all but something about See's Candy made it the exception.

"So what are we planning to do?" He says, taking his shoes off. I stop him. "Oh, don't feel forced to take them off. We don't do that here." I tell him. His fingers brush against the back of my hand as he smiles wider. I can see the crinkles at the edges of his eyes.

"I don't wanna bring in bad energy into this house." He said. "The streets are dirty, you know. You don't need that."

I couldn't control it before I even knew what I was doing. I opened my mouth. I didn't want to but I was doing it anyways.
"I am the bad energy. You're the good one. Silas, you cleanse me."
I immediately regretted it and felt the goosebumps, the cringe of the words that had slipped from my lips. I hate myself so much. I look at fifty different things before looking at Silas.

I freeze, noticing his face had come closer to mine. I can feel his warmth, the thing I loved about him. The thing that brought me comfort, that brought me back to the woods the night I met him where the stars danced above us.

"Rue," He says in a raspy voice.
"Silas?"

He smiles and it makes something in my stomach squirm.
I wanted to pull him against me, feel his perfect lips against mine, run my fingers through his hair. And I'm shocked because up to this point I had always thought I was Aromantic. I had never felt love for anyone but then came Silas knocking at the door of my disastrous life.
And I was willing to let him fall in, to let myself devour what I so much desired.

My heart skipped a beat. This was way too much.
I push his chest with my hand and watch him take a few steps back. "Wanna watch the movie?" I ask. His smile fades as he clears his throat. I saw the regret written all over his face. "Yeah. What are we gonna watch?"

I clear my throat and start walking to my room, beckoning him to follow. He does like a little lost dog. "I was thinking American Psycho." I say as I welcome him to my room. He enters and I close my bedroom door. "Classic. I like your room. It's cool." He says, taking a little spin while scanning the four walls.

"Thanks but it's not as nice as yours." I acknowledge. Silas shakes his head as he lays down on the bed, laying the snacks in front of him. I lay down next to him and open HBO Max. I put American Psycho on. "I absolutely love this movie." I say.

"It's great isn't it. Batman as a psychopath."

I laugh. "Yup."

The truth was that I'm obsessed with this movie. I've watched it over a million times and I'm not exaggerating. I would watch this five times everyday, including the end credits. I would end the day anxious and unsatisfied if I didn't watch it five times. There was just something about it.

Paul Bateman was me. I was him.

The movie begins while me and Silas begin to chew on our snacks. I cuddle close to him and smile.