Sadie (18+)

Chapter 10

Every February, the Alessi's take a trip up to their lodge that's nestled between the mountains. I've been invited for the past three years, and this year marks the fourth.

A few days after the realization that the trip was coming up soon, I decided it was finally time I stop home.

I didn't plan on staying long—I wanted to grab a few things, have a brief chat with my mother, and cower back to my best friend's house, forgetting I ever left.

When I unlocked the door and entered my house that oozed only the coldest aura, I found my mother in her office, her gaze fixed on the computer screen.

"Hey Mom," I said awkwardly, digging my shoe into the carpet.

She turned to me, expressionless, her lips set into a thin line. "You haven't been home."

"I've been staying at Julia's," I admitted as though it weren't the most bizarre thing to say to your mother. "Sorry I didn't tell you."

She sighed and turned to look at me, glasses perched at the tip of her nose. "I'm sorry, Sadie."

It took me a moment to process her words. It was strange and unnatural hearing an apology come from her mouth.

"For what?" I asked, confused. There were plenty of things for her to be sorry for, but it was another to actually take the time to apologize.

"For everything," she replied, sighing again. "With your father gone, things have been tough. You know that, but still. I've never fully recovered since he left."

I nodded, afraid to speak. It was a typical excuse, but the effort was there. My hands felt heavy on my sides. I wanted to feel bad for her and put myself in her shoes, but I couldn't. I still deserved to be parented, even if my father had walked out so long ago.

It occurred to me all of the sudden that maybe she was bipolar. Of course, I didn't dare ask. I would have to be content with never finding that out.

"It's okay," I said. It wasn't, but what else could I say?

She didn't respond, so I took that as my cue to leave. When I scurried up the stairs and into my bedroom, I collapsed onto the bed and heaved out a much needed sigh. That didn't go nearly as bad as I thought it would.

Before packing my belongings not only for the trip but for staying at the Alessi's indefinitely, I scanned my room, feeling as though the empty, cream colored walls were no longer mine. My room, once a safe haven, felt foreign and unfamiliar to me. I much preferred the comfort of Julia's bedroom, or the guest room, or any room in the Alessi household.

On second thought, maybe not Tony's.

I massaged my temples and stared up at the ceiling as this strange realization swept over me. It didn't take long for thoughts of Vincent to creep in, either, especially since I spent every night since then thinking about the way his stubble had felt against my knuckles.

I didn't intend on staying home all day, but I appreciated the time alone to gather my thoughts and rest in the silence. Julia had texted me, asking if I was okay. I responded, then fell asleep.

When I'd awoken to a dark room, I realized it was time to head back. I slung my bag over my shoulder, trotted down the stairs and left without a glance behind me.

The pale moon emanated a faint glow in the night sky when I returned. I slid out of the car and made my way inside, the small bottles I'd stolen from the liquor cabinet clinking with each step. I readjusted the contents in my bag, but there was still a bit of noise.

I considered the small spaces and crevices in Julia's house, then realized the back of her closet would be the perfect spot. The porch lights exposed my presence as I headed inside.