her dying soul

I have come across Aven Bell several times. When she was in a horrible car crash the night I stole her dad or the day she decided to jump off a little too late when she was going sky diving. I see her and I think about how lucky she is. Escaping me once, that's rare, but two times, now that's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She was brave both these times, but now I see her as I rush across the city, and I know all hope has been lost.

Ever since COVID-19 decided to appear, my job hours have quadrupled and sales haven't been skyrocketing since the 1957 Asian Flu.

The adults and the kids are all worried but I genuinely believe teenagers have it the worst, crippling under the weight of social restrictions. I see her look out the window, counting days as if she were in prison. At night, when sleep is prevalent in the house, she is awake till 4 AM struck with anxiety, and thinking the thoughts no teenager should ever have.

Adults say kids and teenagers have it easy, but that's a huge lie they made to feel better about themselves. Adults are really enjoying this. They don't have to wake up and see their annoying boss' face every morning, or they could just be watching a movie when a really "important" sales meeting is going on.

She uses social media like all others, but she sees more news about this virus that has ruined her life or her friends posting pictures of them from the "normal" days. Friends are really important in surviving high school and battling mental health issues. But she keeps it locked inside of herself.

She is depressed and she doesn't know how to cope. Her parents most definitely won't understand. At this distance, she can't really tell her friends either because they won't understand how deep it is for her, and they all say that they're "depressed". Also, she was their rock, their group therapist. How was it going to look if she was going through the same?

Lost in her thoughts, she decided to take her life. Adults might call it dumb or stupid, but I see the pain she goes through and these thoughts are evil enough to consume her from the inside paving way for a slower, more painful death. But I still try to stop her, I slowed my pace and so the deaths slow down but that isn't enough, that is not what she needs.

Her eyes are completely red and puffed, as she signs her name on the note she's written. Her pain is so strong, I sense it around her and erupting out the note she's written. Time seems to slow down as she slides the blade across her wrist. She smiles an empty smile for the last time as she falls into a deep sleep.

I see her dying soul and cry tears filled with sorrow and grief. In all of the time, I have never once shed tears but to see her life flash across her eyes was painful for even me to watch. I carry her up to Heaven, in all hopes that she has a better life in Heaven, for she deserves it.