A Dazzling Trio

Chapter VIII: Shining Through

As I said last chapter, it was originally supposed to be longer. Here is the other half of the chapter before I decided to cut it up~ There were a couple other scenes I debated adding to this chapter, but I want to wait and put those in the next few chapters I will write. As always, enjoy the show!

Chapter VIII: Shining Through

Closing my eyes, I focus on the smell of nothing but dust and cherries. It's easy to feel bored out of your mind when it comes to things like this... Sitting in this room, I can't help but sigh, placing the textbook down on the desk, one of the only objects in here. This room is the one that Sunset said I could do whatever I wanted with since she has her own little room to focus on her studies and internship. The only problem is that I have no idea what to do with this room. So far, there's only a desk, a chair and a plate with a half eaten slice of cherry cheesecake. Then there's the textbook, the thing that I have been focusing on for the past few hours with nothing but the material on the pages or the empty room to occupy my thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly pick up my fork, sliding it into the cheesecake with little effort. This is my favorite treat in the whole world, yet it doesn't cure the churning in my stomach. In any world, I can't help but love this food almost as much as Sunset herself, but today, even its magical taste can't stop my overridden mind. Perhaps it's due to the nerves... My test is in a couple of days and despite how much Sunset and Apple Bloom helped me study, I can't help but feel like I know nothing. It doesn't matter how many flashcards I memorize or how much I read. These damned books always make me learn something new, making me question whether I actually know anything.

Taking a bite of the cake, I chew it far past when I should have swallowed, scanning the page in front of me as closely as I can. I have to reread the same paragraph two or three times every so often... As sweet as the cake is, the nerves going through me make the taste nearly disappear. The cake might as well be a tasteless material I'm chewing on, fully taking away one of the only foods that comforts me during times like this. Why do I feel so nervous about a test of all things? Hardly anything used to cause me to be nervous in the past. I was a powerful siren who had the world in her grasp. Twice. I'm smart, charismatic, witty and perceptive. Yet a test of all things brings me down to such depths.

Let's face it, Adagio. It's probably due to the fact that this is one of the only things I still have control over. This music studio gave me a safe space to think whenever I needed to be away from everyone. It gave me a steady income and I actually like teaching others how to sing... Funny thing is that I was afraid to sing two years ago due to my fear that I would lose everything again. Maybe that is happening...

Sighing heavily, I look out one of the windows in the room, taking a moment to ignore the book. I used to be in control of my life. Now, I'm held captive by her. The one tormenting each of my moments with the threat that she can take it all away. That siren who thinks she knows what's best for me. She's even threatened my upcoming marriage if it gets in the way of her plans. How am I supposed to relax when something like that is looming over my head all the time? The idea of pre test nerves is minimal in comparison. I can't even ask for help. I have to stay quiet. This music studio is one of the only things I can still control...

It all depends on this test. Whether I can buy the studio or not. If not, then I have to find a new job and hardly anyone is looking for someone of my background. How am I supposed to be a good wife for Sunset if I can't even hold a job while she goes to college? I already can't keep my mind stable, so this is the one thing I need to get right. I can't afford to lose the studio. If I do, I lose a place that makes me happy, an income and my chances at being employed in general...

It all depends on this test. This one test. Maybe that's why I'm so wound tight. Combined with the fact that Twilight hasn't answered my texts, the siren hasn't shown herself and that Rich is going to use Apple Bloom as his eyes makes everything feel wrong. Twilight's breakdown was just yesterday and to think that she hasn't responded to me is an ominous sign. I hoped that everything would be alright, but maybe hoping isn't enough. Maybe that's why some people look at religion as a comfort. They believe that if they are good enough, their prayers will be answered. I have no idea if there is some deity judging us from above. But if there is, who would they judge? Me or the siren in my mind? Is she really me and I'm just pretending...? Is that the cycle of my life? My chances of prospering are ruined by her misdeeds...?