Scars of the past

Therapy

The two weeks went by and I would be back on active duty, being back at the police station would do me good, and I longed to feel useful, which was hard to come by these last few days, always sitting and watching.

We woke up, I showered and got dressed, as if it were a party day, I was happy to come back, and I kept thinking how lucky I was to work with something I love, to have found my place in the world, a place where I belong and feel good.

Arriving at the police station, I was greeted with a round of applause. I confess that I was embarrassed, but I thanked all the tribute. I still had the cast on my broken leg and would stay for another 45 days, until my return to the doctor, so I was still walking around funny, with the help of crutches, and it was agreed that I would do more paperwork. Arriving at the living room, there was a huge cake and the whole team waiting for me.

"I can't believe you guys did this, no need to."

I said a little embarrassed with all that, but I felt their love and affection for doing that.

"It was the least we could have done, and we're all happy to have you back."

Candice said with a smile on her face.

"Speaking of being back. We'll get you started on paperwork, and when you go out to the field, miss stand still, and let your partner do the physical exertion and the running."

Grasser said as he took a slice of cake.

"He said on the first day, that I would shoot and he would run, I think that fits that case."

Everyone burst out laughing and we were having breakfast with cake, it couldn't be better.

"How was the recovery?"

Grasser asked me smiling.

"I had two very competent nurses who helped me a lot."

I hugged Sara at that time, she was such a friend, we were closer than ever and I loved having a confidant friend in my life so much.

Then Bruce walked into the room, he came to greet me.

"Greetings back Nina, I hope you are better."

"Yes I am Bruce, thank you."

"Grasser has already told you about the paperwork right? We want your leg to be 100% recovered. Also, you've been nominated for the police station's Medal of Honor, the ceremony should take place in 1 month, and you need to complete the therapy sessions mandatory before fully enabling you back."

"Oh, really? Therapy? I'm fine."

"Unfortunately it's not optional in your case."

We ate the cake, but the ceremony and therapy were haunting me, I didn't want my face and name in plain sight and attracting attention. And how would I hide all my old traumas from a therapist, who was there to release me from it? I needed to focus a lot on the Serial Killer kidnapping, so as not to miss anything from my past and not arouse suspicion.

********

The next few days were smooth, involving a lot of paperwork, but being on the job made me much happier. In therapy I lied that I couldn't sleep at first, after all it would be very suspicious for me to be well after all that, and without any emotional sequelae, but I knew them very well, and it was simple for me to fake them. The therapist was good but I was succinct and left no margins, she approved me fit after 5 sessions and for me it was a big relief. And I needed to celebrate this with George, who was waiting for me in the car, and he already had a pizza on the way to our house.

"Finally approved. I can't believe it."

I said as I bit into a fat slice of pizza.

"I'm very happy for you. "

George took the slice from him, but before he took a bite, he continued.

"Did you talk to her about your past too? The dark part you mentioned?"

I noticed that he asked me cautiously, he didn't want to pressure me, and I was glad he hadn't brought it up since I'd opened up to him slightly.

"Not really, stick to the events of the kidnapping and the fight."

We were silent for a few seconds, that awkward silence, until I continued.

"I was afraid she'd find out something else, and not enable me."

"I understand. But this past has to do with your parents? Does your family too? You never talk about them, I don't know them."

"Also, they are part of history."

I realized that George received the information and was a little scared, I decided to express myself better.

"Let me explain, they're not bad people and they haven't done me any harm. They're good people, I love them, but they're part of my past that I want to forget. In fact, they're completely ingrained in it."

"I don't know if I understand, but I'm glad they didn't do you any harm."

It hurt me not to tell him, but I didn't feel ready, I didn't feel that the time was right, and at that point I was afraid that my past would come with everything and undo this whole happy world that I created in my fresh start.